Love it.

Nice concept man

Hey bro, would love to consider this entry, but unfortunately, it doesn't meet the criteria. Minimum is 16 bars. While this does have 16 lines, a lot of them are just half a bar at best.

Keep dropping!

booooo

really bro? I mean...its your challenge....but I have to say......it didn't say anything about the length of the bar......

Lastly....its a little unfair to modify the goal post...and then be like sorry! At minimum...you couldve said something before the close so I could have modified.

booooooo jamesgetsit.

how discouraging.

Ok?

Go read it again bro. 16 bars.

I don't read any of the entries until I'm about to post the results, so they are all fresh in my mind.

You are new to the competition, and now you know. When I get back from Ireland (in a few weeks), the challenge will be returning to how it was before. I will be giving critiques for each post, pretty in-depth ones.

Don't like how I run the competition? Don't do it.

word?!?!

ewwww....

im good. I cant fux with cats that flex on some cybershit.

16 bars = 16 lines

you said i had 16 lines..but you considered it half a bar.

Thats wack. but that whole....you wont like my critique crap was wack. Doubt ill respect it...if you cant be 100 on your own challenges.

cats like you are the death of hip-hop...with your wack ass. lol

gtfoh

Death of hip hop when you don't even know what a bar is. AIGHT

Lmao, if you can't take a small critique like this... You won't like it when I start giving real critiques in a few weeks.

Take what is given to you and do something with it, don't complain like a child.

a child...cause i hold you to your rules?

this is the only place you get respect.......ill leave you to your cyber fiefdom. loser!

Alright... I'll break it down for you, child. If I'm not down to teach children about hiphop, who will be?

> My history started with a ship that hit the inner lips of a Maryland Eastern Shore

This is what you call a stretched bar. A couple multis in there, but the end rhyme is just left out there alone. Not good.

> Shackled by brown skinned labeled black
They carried the weight of our family's humanity on their back

This couplet is cool, and depending on the flow could sound decent... but seriously basic. Black/back end rhymes. Meh

> So to make it to better days theyd persist through the night
Keeping their eye on that North Star,

Weird couplet. No rhymes at all in this one.

> Until that Sweet Chariot swung low
My family was emancipated....freed...uneducated and no dough

Cool, but the "..."s lead me to believe there was some pausing on both sides of "freed", which means this bar would be stretching it as well.

> With no place to go
They had to start from scratch *

RIGHHHTT... This right here is a solid couplet, eh? Yea yea... This is definitely two bars right here. Mmmmmhmmm. Definitely. No question. SMH

> Imagine carrying the world with whip marks on your back
But my ancestors did just that

Back/that... Really breaking the mold on this one.

> They persisted through the night
They were gonna be free if it took a million nights

Night/nights... DUDE... You killing this bro. How do you even come up with this? DAMN. Fire, just fire.

> They persisted for a better life
There was a future to see

Another couplet that makes no sense if each of these are actually bars.

> They persisted for me

And the last "bar".

Get the fuck off your high horse bro. This wasn't a 16 bar verse. Lay it down on any instrumental and show me otherwise. 16 Lines does not equal 16 bars.

Can't take constructive criticism, this isn't the place for you.

ha ha ha... if you have to break down flows like that...no wonder you dont get it. lol....fucking poser.

yup...people like you.....are the reason...hip hop is dying.

they just dont make em real anymore.

your garbage...... go do your thing.......

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/ktf.gif