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You have a wonderful kid, for real, stay strong for him.

Sometimes the fathers are scared by responsabilities and find and excuse to leave or stay away from them families.

We live in a society where the most kids are grown by single moms and its very easy to break up with someone, not like 25+ years ago when people were married for life, with strong principles, with strong personalities and fight togheter until the death split each other.

Today its a superficial world, we believe we own everything, we deserve to have everything but its not ok, we are remain alone with this attitude.

What i know from little experience, dont take it personal please, mothers became so kid dependent, to stay only with him, give him all attention and the man feels alone believe or not, he stats thinking its not so important for the family and he starts thinking to stupid things and divorce is near.

I dont want to be rude or something but giving him some love will create deeper connection between you 2, he will feel again important, less stress, more confident, more connected with the family.

Put you in his position, he comes home and all he does is to focus on kid and you put him very much on 2nd plan, you dont kiss each other, you dont touch each other, the cold wall starts to grow between you 2.

You need to work as a lover, family, parents, wife and husband, friends, girlfriend and boyfriend and so on.

As you need some affectivity and other important things so him.

Remember, sometimes he is just scared and he runs because he cant handle it.

Maybe he needs stability, staying in one place, he doesnt feel secure if you dont know where to stay, from Portugal to Denmark, from Spain to Italy, imagine how hard scares a man who loves his friends and family and want to keep them close.

I break up 2 times from long term relationships and everytime i came back to the house i grow up and where my grandmother was.

I could stay everywhere on this earth i want at that time, but i want to stay at my home.

Family its very important for many, keeping that person away from family he will leave you without blinking or thinking twice.

Not everybody wants the same.

This was one of the reasons i break up with my last one, she want to move in Singapore or Canada, i said, WTF, i cant let everything here and go, i have a business here, i have friends and family.

She didnt care at all and this can happen to all of us.

Stay strong, home is the best home in the world. Dont feel awkard you are a single mother when you meet with other people, they dont know your story and you should not care at all.

thank you very much for your very long and thoughtful reply! i am happy to hear your thoughts!
I know he probably needs more love and attention, maybe that is why he has been sick, to attract attention.
I would love to give him more attention, and yes I give a lot to our son, but when I have to take care of all the things the child needs, how can i take care of everything the man needs too? At times when he, the father, has taken care and spend time with the son, I actually had time both for myself and for him, but when he pulls himself away from both of us, I cannot do that. When he is depressed I cannot do everything by my own.
He has to figure his things out, and he is feeling already better! Sometimes we need a push I think. He just really needed some time alone to look into himself too. I need that too and how I would love if he could and would stay with our boy more.
And yes it is difficult, when we are from 2 different countries and both want to be near our family. He says it's not important for him, but i think it is. I know it is for me.
The plan is that we find out what we want and then we will have to meet and see how those two things fit together and what compromises we can make for each other.

and haha - you made it sound like I forced him go to Italy, Portugal, Spain, Denmark and so on XD I am waiting for him to know where he wants to stay too!

No no, i didnt mean to say that about you forced him. Dont force him to take a decision, dont give him ultimatum, tell him how good you feel and your kid with him when he is with you, tell him how much and your son needs to stay with him, be diplomatic, dont put pressure, because when you do this, he will run faster from you and he will take easy decisions to let you.

Put your female skills at work :)

Tell him how much count and how many things you can do togheter, make him thinking and encourage him.
Tell him you want to be everybody happy, you will never keep away from his family and friends, its important for you to be happy.

Tell him about compromises and sacrifice.

Sometimes men loves to take decision even they doesnt realize the women made them do :)

I tell you a secret, a man will always need support, to feel you close to him, to see you as ally not enemy, to see Heaven when is with you, to feel safe and secure, like your kid :)

When he comes from Italy, talk about his mom, his family, if are all good, dont attack him with questions who starts with "why?". Good luck!

thank you, I will listen to your advice :)

You take beautiful photos! You have a lot on your mind at the moment and your words really touched me...it does sound like a difficult situation you are in with some hard choices to make whilst considering all the factors. I truly hope that you will find a place where you feel you belong and where you can settle. Even us settled folk sometimes struggle to connect with others...people are just too busy and it is easy to feel lost and alone in modern society. I am grateful to have my husband by my side and also a few close friends and family....it stays an effort though to keep in touch. Sending you and your beautiful kiddo much love and happiness❤️

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This is such a beautiful touching post, and the feeling is shared I think by anyone who has traveled for more than a season. We must settle, if even to get our bearings to float away again.

I laughed at your comment about settled people:
>Settled people are ... busy people

This is too true, we humans get busy in the mundane, the schedule of repeated experiences and responsibilities. We must work hard to settle into only good habits, and then to break away every once in a while!

It sounds like your travels have led you to having a good bit of information about where you might want to settle around Europe. I will leave you with a quote from one of my favorite songs - called 'Two Worlds'

>Softly tread the sand below your feet now
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart
Let fate decide
To guide these lives we see

Blessings to you and your family.

Thank you very much! Beautiful quote!

Look at your beautiful photos Denmark is amazing. You need to listen to your heart we regards to what you want, Willow will be happy s long as you are and there are children everywhere, although I understand you want like minded people around, that is one of the reasons we travel in the first place to explore and find a good place to lay down some roots. I am sure you will find your way you already have really, thank you for sharing xxx

Thank you! Your words and thoughts are appreciated!

Your photos are really lovely @frejafri!! Appreciate you sharing your current dilemma and wants so vulnerably.

You sound like you could use a long rest, not just for your physical self but also for your soul. I bless you to be able to hear your heart again and be happy. May the confusion that clouds you be changed into a clarity and great courage for you to make certain decisions of where to settle down and which circle of friends to keep. Sending you hugs. 💕

thank you! I think you are right! thank you so much for your blessings! love <3

Beautiful pictures, but sad to read that you and your partner aren't on the same page anymore. That's always a hard thing, going through these times. But I can read you are strong, because you told him to leave a while to figure out his wants and needs, so you can seek your own values and needs too. That takes a strong person to do so! To some people it may feel like an easy thing to do, but I remember from the past that I had a hard time letting go because of the children. I always kept believing in fairytales .. but that's a story on another level (didnt work out) .. I am happy to have a partner on the same page now, but it cost me like my whole life back then staying in that situation. I wish a was a bit wiser back then.
But people can only learn from the mistakes and do better after..
I hope you will soon find your needs and will be able to live up to them. Your child looks absolutely adorable by the way <3

Thank you! No for me it definitely isn't easy either and I'm always in doubt if I am taking the right choices! I hope we will figure it out, and yes so much more difficult with the children involved, there's a whole lot more to fight for..!
Thank you so much for your kind words <3

Lots of wheels spinning (thoughts). Pondering your purpose in life, where you are meant to be, etc... I think we all go through it.

I know for me, i need to be home, with my children.
But we need to move out of town, onto our own land.
Where we can raise our family freely, growing our food, wild foraging, doing what we love, being out in nature.

Getting to that point is a process, and it's taking time :/

Are there any waldorf groups in your area? Might be worth looking into, you may find some like minded folk and children to connect with.

Best wishes all around!

thank you! Yes it's good to remember that things take time, not to think ew have to make everything work perfectly in an instant, sometimes I forget that..! Well I did meet a group, I wrote about it in my newest post here, so that maybe a possibility of a strong network, the thing is I am not sure if we should settle down on this particular island, since my partner is not interested, so we will see... https://steemit.com/homeschooling/@frejafri/homegrown-children-network-and-summerfest-on-bornholm-denmark