[IMAGE: https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/meditations/bEwZEtaI-stick.jpg]

I'm worn down, beaten down, and tired. I fear that if I don't start making meaningful changes in my life I will fall into the grave clinching onto something that is not me, was never me. I fear that I'v spent too much time playing it safe not because I feared rejection or failure but because I constantly put other's desires in front of my own. each one another weight on my back and shoulders until the pain caused by this weight leaves a lasting pain deep within my body, mind, and soul.

and the time lost.... that hurts the most.

but not all is as bleak as I make it out to be, It is my life after all. The same opportunities may not be there anymore and the time may be lost but I ALWAYS have the say in how I move forward.

So forward I march into the unknown. I march back into the world of art and creation. A world I dipped my toes in when younger years were plentiful and free, a world I drank myself out of and, allowed others to divy up my time into their ambitions.

**At the beginning **

I'm treating this as a day one newbi. Building a strong foundation of the fundamentials and finding my way from there. Where will I go? what will I create? I don't know. Something, anything, everything.

I posted a few of my early sketches. I used a combination of a fine liner pen, a charcoal pencil and a regular HB pencil.

It is my intention moving forward to post my work here on Hive as I progress and hon my style and prefered mediums.

The best thing is about creating art is not only do I get to create something that was not here before but nomatter terrable a drawing may be the process of creating and drawing and painting is still the best anti depressent I have ever found.

I have more to say. and will so in future posts but for now I am off to create and to pay attention to what it is I am trying to tell myself about who I could be if only I shut up and listen.

[IMAGE: https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/meditations/luComLmY-cones.jpg]

[IMAGE: https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/meditations/BLnyOIz1-circles.jpg]

[IMAGE: https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/meditations/EquNYljx-texture.jpg]

~meditations~