___|  _ \   |  |    |   |_ _|\ \     / ____|
 |     |   |  |  |    |   |  |  \ \   /  __|
 |   | |   | ___ __|  ___ |  |   \ \ /   |
\____|\___/     _|   _|  _|___|   \_/   _____| 

 --- A GOPHER-LIKE INTERFACE FOR HIVE BLOCKCHAIN ---

It's Time To Tell

BY: @meesterboom | CREATED: Nov. 11, 2019, 2:47 p.m. | VOTES: 342 | PAYOUT: $27.67 | [ VOTE ]

[IMAGE: https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmYChCKyGfEM2ea1WEhUf2wxRcRpTjiqxHkLBzhqan6Cx2/IMG-PHOTO-ART-1457400306.jpg]

This is going to be hard.

I sighed to myself in the bathroom mirror. I had been bottling it up too long. It was time the Good Lady knew the truth.

The real truth.

We had been together a long time, she and I.

No secrets we had always said. Relationships are hard enough without secrets burning a hole through them.

Slowly, I made my way downstairs. It would be a lie to say that my heart wasn't heavy with the task that now lay ahead.

[IMAGE: https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmXE54bMn66Q2reMNtWjdgwyZ1SEquAGieNyjygnVcQjQf/0922112701474-picsay_20190923161243993_20190924142706369_20190925161934852_20190927155528459_20190929131252474_20191001143826791_20191006180101066_20191024144057274_20191025135049323_20191111125222903.jpg]

But she had to know the truth. She deserved to know.

It was a dark and troubling secret and it had burdened me for too long now. It would be a relief to be free of it.

I wondered what she would think. She could be a fiery one. What if she tried to fight me? Would I have to put her down like a dog?

These thoughts and more plagued me as I went down the stairs to the lounge.

On entering, I could see that the Good Lady knew something was amiss.

Daddy-Bear, you ok? You look weird?

She said, beginning to rise from her seat.

[IMAGE: https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQma52EMGVA1XV89hkrd921TY2TqwyYaDAcnvzesyJMDGCS/0922112701474-picsay_20190923161243993_20190924142706369_20190925161934852_20190927155528459_20190929131252474_20191001143826791_20191006180101066_20191024144057274_20191025135049323_20191111125444094.jpg]

I motioned her to remain seated and flumped down across from her.

Listen, lass. We have to talk.

I said heavily.

Oh God, what is it? Is it serious??!

The Good Lady looked panicked as if I were about to impart something terrible. Something that perhaps might change everything. Perhaps she saw our little family, torn apart and her living in a cardboard box with a flea-bitten dog called Simon.

Oh well. Here goes.

Baby-cheeks, I'm sorry, there is no easy way to say this. You know that cheaper toilet paper you bought that you think is amazing and saving us a fortune? It's not amazing. In fact, it's shit. I hate it.

The Good Lady made to speak but I silenced her with an upraised hand.

I know. I know. This is upsetting for you.

I stood and took a step toward her and clasped her hand.

I know it. But my fingers keep poking through it. It's a nightmare. On every toilet visit I end up with choc-fudge-fingers. It's no way for a man like me to live?!

I gesticulated toward the unseen toilet Gods in the sky.

I want to go back to the way it was before?!

I cried in anguish.

Can we?

I half asked, half begged.

Alright, Daddy-Bear. Don't get your knickers in a twist. We will go back to the more expensive good stuff. I didn't like the new stuff much either.

She looked at me and smiled.

I smiled too. Maybe just maybe, we could get through this.

TAGS: [ #life ] [ #story ] [ #writing ] [ #blog ] [ #oc ] [ #creativecoin ] [ #busy ] [ #marlians ]

Replies

@tamaralovelace | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:51 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Wow, that crisis was narrowly averted. You like living on the edge, don't you!?!

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:52 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

I'm a crazy man. I live every day like it's my last!!!! :0D

@tamaralovelace | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:55 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Lol, as you should!

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:56 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

I am thinking of changing my name to Maverick!!

@anouk.nox | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:56 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Aha! Written so well, I was wondering what it was about until the end :) Made me smile as well! Glad you will get through this, not even an expensive brand of toilet paper should have the power to destroy a relationship, right? :)

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:57 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Hehe, exactly. Such things should never impinge upon love!!! :0)

@abh12345 | Nov. 11, 2019, 2:58 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Remeber the tracing paper like shit-roll at school, that was awful!

I find you want somewhere between too fluffy and too grease-proof and usually opt for the middle of the road stuff.

Crisis averted.

(I hope you double-washed before taking the good ladies hand)

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 3:02 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Oh man, I had forgotten about that!! It was almost impossible to actually use!!

If it ain't quilts it ain't good for me!! :0D

And the washing, oh yes .. they call me clean hand Luke!!

@abh12345 | Nov. 11, 2019, 4:38 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Quilted sounds nice but over the top fluffy is too much! I'd rather have that than the tracing paper though, it didn't even flush well!

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 5:29 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

I think they could have used it for roofing and other waterproofing activities!!!

@tts | Nov. 11, 2019, 3:01 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
[IMAGE: https://s18.postimg.org/51o0kpijd/play200x46.png]
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

@smasssh | Nov. 11, 2019, 4:05 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

This sounds a bit like a modern version of ring-tilting ...

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 4:06 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Well, I guess I'm off to Google for that one then!

Hehe, yes, I think it is!

@hndmarshall | Nov. 11, 2019, 4:18 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Hey Boomy long time no see...I come back and your having TP issues...LOL....you poor baby...did you get her to kiss it and make it all better I wonder?

upvoted and resteemed!

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 4:22 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Hola chick!! Long time no see!! Yes indeed, I am still bouncing around from one crisis to another, hehe!!

@old-guy-photos | Nov. 11, 2019, 10:26 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

See now for me the roles would be reversed. If there is a way to save a nickle, I am all for it - holes and all :D

@meesterboom | Nov. 11, 2019, 10:28 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

I am like that in many ways but in some there is no compromise!!!!

@haikubot | Nov. 11, 2019, 10:28 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

I am like that in
Many ways but in some there
Is no compromise!!!!

                 - meesterboom

I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

@sarez | Nov. 12, 2019, 12:55 a.m. | Votes: 3 | [ VOTE ]

This is wicked!
I love it, the serious tone and the confrontation and then the lights come on.

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 1:58 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Hehe, cheers dude!! I like to twist things!

@ryivhnn | Nov. 12, 2019, 2:29 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Well least you tried, if it had been decent then you would have been saving a lot XD

On that note, if there is such a thing as good cheap toilet paper I'd like to know about it.

https://technonaturalist.net/sites/default/files/styles/sensible_display/public/art/2019/09/heartfyn_0.png?itok=QHDoN0HE

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 8:36 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

That's pretty much what the missus said about trying it. Could have been a winner! The hunt goes on... :0D

@alishi | Nov. 12, 2019, 7:49 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Hahahaha - yes some thing are just not worth saving money on

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 8:36 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

On that I agree 💯%!!!!!

@pandaparker | Nov. 12, 2019, 1:43 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

"choc-fudge-fingers" 😂😂😂

Posted using Partiko Android

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 1:49 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

No one wants them! :0D

@raj808 | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:16 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

That's why... mum's shouldn't go to Iceland... for the loo role 🤣

A nice cheese cake maybe... but never the loo role!

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:17 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

A nice cheese cake is a fine example of what is right to buy but all their tawdry lol rolls, never!!!

@raj808 | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:19 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

I heard they use the old grease proof paper in the Iceland loo role mix.

That's the stuff @abh12345's childhood nightmares are made of!!!!!

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:41 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Eeeewww. My missis for the stuff from Lidl, she swore it was just as good. I'm like waaaah, no!!!

@oaldamster | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:18 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Choc-Fudge, thank you for that vivid imagery... 😵🤣

@meesterboom | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:41 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

It is quite vivid!!! Lolz :0D

@steemitboard | Nov. 12, 2019, 4:40 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

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@eii | Nov. 13, 2019, 8:06 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

!BEER
for @meesterboom

@beerlover | Nov. 13, 2019, 8:06 p.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmaHThyECGhEx8tSfHZbiMFRNYjJ35K92cDgiJjkzBUaJo/One%20sip%20of%20BEER%20for%20you.gif
View or trade BEER.
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@choogirl | Nov. 14, 2019, 3:58 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

As someone who has travelled a lot in less developed (are we allowed to say that still?) countries, I have a theory about toilet paper. I swear, there's a direct correlation between GDP and toilet paper. The richer the country, the better it is.

@meesterboom | Nov. 14, 2019, 7:59 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

You could be right, I suppose it is one of those frivolous luxuries!! Maybe that's why I stay living in Britain!

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