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My darling Grandchildren,
If you are reading this, I have already left my earthly form.
I will leave this letter in a collection of your children's art, a bin full of stuff that you have probably forgotten ever making, but that I treasured until my final breath. I want you to know how very much I love you even now that I am not here to hold you, to teach you what I learned in my short but eventful time on earth, and to share my deep love for you and for all the creatures, plants, stones, magma, waters, and specks of dust on this astonishing planet. Now it's your turn to shape the future, both your futures and the future of the entire world.
Where to start? A freewrite poem is always a good place to start, so:
>Give thanks to the ramblings of an old woman
who remembers in her turn to give thanks even to a dandelion
plucked from its berth
in the soils of both imagination
and truth
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Here is something your Uncle Niko said to me before he died. He was a being of love and light despite a great deal of suffering. He was my guide, my rock, and my inspiration. I still wonder what he meant by the words below, but whenever I am tasked with a difficult situation, I remember what he said, and I let Niko guide me even still:
>Set clear ethical boundaries
When times are tough, and you will have tough times, look for opportunities. Strife uncovers paths you could not see before your struggles began. Do not follow ANY guidance that does not feel right to you, especially if your ethical boundaries have to be crossed.
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Here are a few things I would like for you to ponder.
You are beings of love.
You are products of everything that ever happened before this moment. You are descendants of the whole human race.
Every action, no matter how small, ripples throughout the universe and affects all.
No one knows what is best for you except yourself. No one.
Sometimes it takes time for a correct action to become clear. If you have any doubts about doing something, consider not doing it.
Memory is time travel. Travel freely!
You are powerful beyond measure.
Freedom Matters.
Live in love.
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I am here with you now, and you are with me.
I love you.
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This is my entry to hive-106316, The Silverbloggers community's blog of the month challenge, for which we were to write a letter to our grandchildren.
I found this to be very difficult! I could not stop crying!!!
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footer by our dear SilverFish, @mondoshawan
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image is by me
Oh how I love this, on so many levels.
Niko! I remember when you first mentioned him saying this:
> Set clear ethical boundaries
And who or what did he have in mind; what #lifelesson might have triggered this insight?
Your grandchildren (none on the way yet, right?) will not get to know their Uncle Niko.
And my sister's grandchildren won't get to know her. Just one, now age 4, had time with her. Struck down by cancer at age 62. All the light and laughter and ebullience of Kelly, scattered as so many molecules and atoms - the flash of light on rippling water in the sun? That's it? Sorry, I hate that popular poem going around....
But I love your poem, Stacey! "Give thanks to the ramblings of an old woman" - old in years, maybe, and in wisdom, but young at heart and so very much ALIVE and here with us, and for that I am so grateful. Every day, I list the good things still in this world of war and loss. Stacey is still here. MarianneWest and MyJob are still here. We lost our beloved Bruno, but we still have much to celebrate.
Thanks for this Stacey!
Set boundaries - that is a message I'm seeing as my middle child, the mother of our grandchildren, has declared me "insanely toxic" (for reasons that even my husband says sound fabricated and fictional) and we have been "removed" from her life. I'll miss the kids. The daughter, I just pity.... "the daughter" .... flesh of my flesh, breastfed on demand for two years, nurtured with love, but Middle Child ....
Removed. Excised, like a tumor. Carol has been cut out of her daughter's life.
I'm mad at her too. Niko's words on #boundaries carried a special weight when you posted this. Very timely, very relevant. #GottaLoveNiko, and always #loveyouStacey!
This 29-yr-old needs "time off" from her mother. The things she accuses me (and her sister) of are so bizarre, I figure it's her addictions talking (weed every day for a decade, the nicotine/vaping in the past year, then her anti-anxiety meds, her six trips to ER in one summer for the crippling anxiety). Yes, I'm getting personal here. Who's gonna read this? My daughter? Her husband?
Yes, I feel the love and support from you, and you know I love you, Stacey!!
That one word, even. "Even Tim." Funny how a single word can slip in and train-wreck a statement. Tim who lives with me and knows me better than anyone - Tim says our daughter and her husband manufacture grievances against me, and he sees no basis in reality for their claims of me being 'insanely toxic,' etc, and it would all be laughable in a 30-minute sitcom where all the misunderstandings and delusions are exposed at the end of the show. But no. It festers. I have been "removed" from their lives, and oops, that means they lose Tim too. And our other daughter and son.
Their motherless cousins have said how lucky she is to still have her mother.
I've contemplated faking my own death and living under an alias. So many of my 5-minute freewrites have circled the wagons around that idea but only occasionally do I write of some housewife taking off in an old van and leaving it all behind. I don't really want to leave everything and everyone behind. I just want people to tolerate my eccentricities and love me in spite of my failings.
LOL, me carrying my sisters with me - well, that could explain a lot! They were noisy and attention-seeking and rambunctious. And I loved them no less for it. :)
I grew up around "crazy" people (most of us do). We learned to accept one another and BE THERE for each other no matter what. We didn't remove the tumors (the "toxic" spinster aunt, e.g.) -
Eh. Time to go write a book review.
Thank you Stacey!!!!
