If there's one thing making friends has taught me, it is that it is never too early for you to set your boundaries. As a matter of fact, I feel like the earlier the better; you just have to be respectful about it, that way they don't get to find out about said boundary after crossing it.

Personally, I really don't have a lot of dos and don'ts in my life, especially ones that concern other people, but if there's one thing I value a lot, it is my personal space, and if I can, I would like to control who comes around that personal space at all times.

[IMAGE: https://files.peakd.com/file/peakd-hive/prayzz/23ynSeqM1ewVQtMH13CgPQ214qKc9e8A3iMfbPX3WMXpNxkYBhXBMo3J3Su7bRHELc7W5.jpg]
photo by Erik Mclean

There have been situations in the past where I've had issues with friends of mine simply because they visited without any prior notice. That has been something I've always hated but never saw the need to say anything about, until they kept on doing it, and it got to the point where I could no longer handle it.

And so because it had gotten to a point where I now was upset, I had spoken rudely to a friend of mine after he had come around without calling, and that had caused some form of misunderstanding between us. That was years ago, and luckily for me that situation made me realize that entire situation could have gone differently if I had been open in the beginning and not waited until I got upset to speak up.

My friend and I eventually made peace, and since then he has never been to my place without calling me first, but in order to avoid a situation like that from repeating itself, I now make sure not to wait that long anymore.

A couple of days ago, someone who I recently became friends with had called and asked if I had traveled because they had apparently gone to my place and noticed that my door was locked. I had answered their question by calmly telling them to always call first before coming over.

I had explained to them that in addition to me not always being at home, there are days I could be at home but not in the mood to entertain anyone or have a guest over, and by the time I was done explaining to them, they had even apologized and told me that they perfectly understood my reason.

We had gone further to make an appointment to see some other time, and that was it. Simple and short. I know they say communication is key, but if there's one thing I've learned about this situation, it is that as much as communication is important, how you communicate is a lot more important than anything else.