Trust.

Trust is a powerful commodity. It can be created, formed, molded and solidified. Trust is forged through time, experiences, and powerful relationships. 

Trust is what holds people together. Our ability to look at our friend, our coworker, our loved ones, and know that you can implicitly trust every word they say is part of what keeps a familial, platonic, or loving relationship alive. 

Trust can be torn down with one sentence. Shredded by lies, deceit, treachery, abuse and manipulation. Once destroyed, it can take months or even years to rebuild even a fraction of what once existed. 

I trusted you completely.
I never lied to you.
I gave you everything.
I defended you.
I paid for everything you needed.
I took risks to keep you happy.
I loved you.

And how was this paralleled? 

You cheated on me.
You lied to me every day.
You lied to others about me.
You falsely accused me of sexual assault and rape. 

So please tell me why I should let you rebuild my trust in you?
You hurt me. You hurt our friends. I gave up on my dreams because of you.
And then I gave you up. I was finally succeeding and happy. 

Why did you come back?

I know it's not to pay me back.
I know it's not because you miss the person who used to be your best friend.
I know it's not because you wanted to cheat on your boyfriend.
I know it's not because you want to marry me as you drunkenly stated. 

I just want to be free of this. Every time I see you my heart sinks further and further, until some day there won't be any more room for me in this hellish prison you've trapped me in to descend. 

If you truly want for me to be happy, as you say so often, then let me be happy.
I truly want to believe that you are trying to make amends, but for every wrong you attempt to right, you wrong me ten more times. 

I want to trust you again, but I can't. 

I'm sorry.