___|  _ \   |  |    |   |_ _|\ \     / ____|
 |     |   |  |  |    |   |  |  \ \   /  __|
 |   | |   | ___ __|  ___ |  |   \ \ /   |
\____|\___/     _|   _|  _|___|   \_/   _____| 

 --- A GOPHER-LIKE INTERFACE FOR HIVE BLOCKCHAIN ---

Perfect Formula - Comedy Open Mic Round15 Entry2

BY: @take5 | CREATED: June 1, 2018, 7:58 a.m. | VOTES: 142 | PAYOUT: $35.08 | [ VOTE ]

Some people just don't know how to be quiet. Everything they do is noisy, even their eating. This really annoys me especially when I have a newborn.

https://78.media.tumblr.com/80a25f38e67a7c8c18aa45b39658a01b/tumblr_inline_niqv23Ctnq1so10o6.gif

Do you know how long it took me to get that baby to finally sleep? Of course, you do. But do you care?

http://cdn.commet-kultajpar.savviihq.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/2OmN7rWl1.jpg
Gif sources: 1, 2
Well, you better because it's taken me months to get the perfect formula. My son had to wear the same socks for weeks to really get the smell into there so that one whiff will knock the baby out for hours. So, you better hope she doesn't wake up or you're NEXT!!

I nominate @barski and @bennettitalia to join #comedyopenmic for next round.

TAGS: [ #funny ] [ #punchline ] [ #comedyopenmic ] [ #noneed4sleepingpills ]

Replies

@dj123 | June 1, 2018, 8:10 a.m. | Votes: 2 | [ VOTE ]

i think your baby was digging in to get some cheese before the knock out

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 1:15 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

It does look that way, haha.

@belemo | June 1, 2018, 9:09 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Parenting level: Expert 😆

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 12:12 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Why, thank you. I do try.

@tamaralovelace | June 1, 2018, 9:12 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

when she grows up she will have to sniff the feet of all potential mates to find one that makes her drunk with happiness

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 12:13 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Haha, I hadn't thought carefully of the repercussions of this formula. You've got a point there.

@myndnow | June 1, 2018, 10:20 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

I can't imagine how hard it is to have a baby :D it's something wonderful, but painful at the same time (lack of sleep! Etc)

Winny out...for now ;)

Ps: happy for you to have found your formula :D

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 12:44 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

It is both, Winny. That's why you gotta have a little fun with it once in a while.

@barski | June 1, 2018, 2:53 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

I have children fall asleep under the game on the guitar)) Your option is super, but, in my sneakers, too strong anesthesia for children))) Thank you for appointing, but I wanted to pause)) Now I'll have to look for an idea.

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 12:15 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Isn't that better? They'll be knocked out longer. If you have kids, I'm sure you have funny things to share.

@profanereviews | June 1, 2018, 3:07 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Hahaha, I wonder if it works on mouthy teenagers. No more Dr. Scholls.

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 12:48 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Hmmm, that's a good point. Teenagers will be my next victims, thanks @profanereviews.

@bobaphet | June 2, 2018, 3:28 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

and the silence is even louder :)
Peace.

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 12:50 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

It's deafening...oh wait, that's just the ringing in my ears.

@mineopoly | June 4, 2018, 3:21 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

I do not dare think about waking this baby, sister. I do not want a sock in the face from you. Please get some rest and enjoy the show. I will work on curating open mic in a couple hours. I know big sister is watching me. I do need some practical assistance in this judging thing. I will send a discord message to itchy :-)

[IMAGE: https://ipfs.busy.org/ipfs/QmQAqHWp2bghRgFE8fvHxbe7ms9cUU9jy5z4URLT4Qe3yS]

I assume he is the mouse.

By the way...

How many months is your baby?

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 1:13 a.m. | Votes: 0 | [ VOTE ]

Thank you for judging this round, @mineopoly. As for my baby, she's 100+ months, haha. I'm just drawing from past experience.

Our COM baby, on the other hand, is 3+ months?

@mineopoly | June 5, 2018, 1:47 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Wow... that's the same age as my baby. I will do my best this but you are back on for next week.

I love your COM baby... so cute but I can't do this long.

@beograd | June 4, 2018, 4:36 p.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

.

@take5 | June 5, 2018, 1:06 a.m. | Votes: 1 | [ VOTE ]

Haha, that is a good formula. I might have some of that somewhere in the back of my closet. Was just too lazy to look for it.

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