Job interviews suck, one day I hope to be able to go into an interview and say to the interviewer, "Can you make money just by posting cat pictures online, I sure as hell can"!

hahaha and just walk away from that 7 figure job :)

LOL!

Imagine going to the Social Security desk, saying:

I wanted to get he piece of paper I need to fill out for getting the money the next 6 month. But you know, I have decided otherwise. Here, take this.

Then hand a "I don't need your money any longer" written on the highest bank note there is. While walking out give everyone you meet a 100$ bill.
Then, on the street, imagine the faces when they have to put your "I quit" note into the file using a hole puncher.

drop the mic right after, chuck deuces, turn around and walk out. would be the perfect commercial for Steemit!!!

DANG, I think you're onto something!

Great post!

thanks

It becomes a real fun when you sit on the other side of the table.

As for the good old days.. I still remember:

HR employee: Describe your weaknesses.
Me: Well I'm a workaholic.. : (

haha ya i'm such a workaholic i sometimes even turn up on mondays

I went for a job interview as an engineer, but I was been asked art and administration questions, like for real?
They should have told me its a music contest.

sure you weren't on the X factor? :)

rofl

Lol, I wish I was. But it's not me.

Its good for you that you hate giving interviews, Chances for you to be an interviewer increases.... ;)

haha that's why i go around hoping to get shat on by a bird to decrease the chances of it actually happening

Nice and helpful post. But with everything else luck plays its role too. Upvoted!

Also if you believe in superstitions and want to know about it please do follow my new series and give it a thumbs up too.

https://steemit.com/superstition/@archerized/most-common-superstitions-walking-under-a-ladder-the-truth-and-logics-part-ii

thanks had, a look, upvoted

Thank you dude!

Apparently, there are no people who would like to interview at the time of hiring. And so, these stupid questions ...

ahh that explains it

I think the process of interviews is changing, more and more they are trying to find if they can work with you (as in with your character) and not finding if you are the best for the job.

figures
I guess i'm not a team player
my internet history sure suggests i'm going solo most of the time

Next time don't do this! xD

[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmTDE9bfWg2sMB58gs8QqCbTuCsnKiGakdVCLRSf5KQ3yH/IMG_20170622_231600_073.JPG]

haha simple but ineffective

Having been through some train-wreck interviews myself, it's super easy to relate to this haha. But I guess it's the only way for the person hiring to get to know if a candidate would be a good fit for the position or not.

Love reading your stuff, keep it up :)

thanks a lot bisade :)

lol, can't agree more on your sharing. And you know what we face in Hong Kong?

Sometimes the employer request is to write the expected salary on the CV. Well, I think that's fine. And one day the HR call is and ask us to have a interview and go through all those stupid process. And than they ask: well, you seems suitable for this job, but we can't afford your salary requested. Can you drop a little bit about 15%? I feel like what the hell you are doing? If you cannot afford my salary request, why did you call me out and have that interview? Don't you think time is treasure?

haha that's horrible
you should just write a number 15% above what you'll settle for :)
actually that's not quite the correct maths is it? :p

Thats a fact about salary you mentioned there. I believe its a HR trick what they do intentionally either to test you or to get your skills at a cheaper. Most of the candidate will agree with them and took the job at a lower salary as they are already mentally prepared to take the job.

If the candidate disagree, HR still has the chance to hire him at his/her asking salary. So they got nothing to loose.

In negotiations, the first person to show their hand is always at a disadvantage.

Oh not to mention in Hong Kong, some insurance company would open an advertisement for say "Account manager" or some back office job title with attractive salaries. But when you go up to interview they start to persuade you that working a fix office job won't get you anywhere to get rich, and start telling you becoming a insurance sales would be a much more rewarding job.
So guess what, they are actually just hiring more people to sell their product, via the employee's personal network. That back office/ manager positions never even existed.

Oh, I've had that kind of garbage happen to me in the States too. It's an international phenomenon, I'm sure.

People will do anything for money I guess haha

If that was the case, saying no to that question would not be such a bad thing. Showing a strong opinion on what you think your skills are worth may give them a good their impression.

thank you for sharing

I have seen some very compelling research that the process of interviews actually leads to worse hires, not better, than the personal charisma or innate prejudices and preferences that can emerge through a personal conversational interview can lead to hiring less ideal candidates or turning away more ideal ones.

But at the same time, nobody wants to work with an impersonable weirdo, and I know if I was a business owner, particularly a small businessowner with a small intimate team, I would want to personally vet the social dynamic of the potential new hire as well. It seems like human nature.

But I am sympathetic to the plight, and it's not an easy thing to work around.

haha I'm an impersonable weirdo as well as a unqualified moron, i guess the two hopefully cancel each other out? :)

Some impersonable weirdo's become beloved members of the team once they get integrated and acquainted and feel comfortable and included. And sometimes the charismatic people turn out to be the creepy guy that makes the girls feel unsafe and is constantly asking people to buy them lunch.

Nice post,
I also do not like job interviews, because inevitably we are forced to pretend

yeah it's like a really unsexy uncool roleplay with the mother in law

Hahahaha really true ..
I really like your post ..
I will resteem him

The interview is just a formality because it determines that we work or not baseball from the interview, I'm a little upset with the interview

"Name a bird with webbed feet 'umm Tiffany...'" Oh lawd I'm dying😂

But I agree with you. Interviews a lot of times can seem like they're holding a bunch of people to the same metric. It's alot like the education system [business] here in America. Standardized tests to hold a bunch of different people to the same measurement can never get a good metric of success.

ya it's true, it's so hard to resist taking the piss out of the process
especially when you're a little older and you can see through it all

Your job interviews seems to be have been fun, the tattoo one was a great answer :D I definitely need to check out the steemit help channel now!

haha you'd think that there's an off chance i run into someone with a sense of humor and would hire me just because of that eh? nope never

haha, there's always hope in the world. else you can always...

[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmY38aWc77vUp74PuTUPaxJu1e8QF8jKeCeeG1WLFfbJii/image.png]

Hahaha luckily I've only ever had to do two interviews and the last one was when I was 17. Definitely a plus point of working for yourself

yeah yeah ok stop bragging ronaldo! :)

idk, maybe its cuz my field is engineering, but interviews for me are usually super straight forward. I've had interviews for jobs that pay $80k last about an hour. although i do hate the general theme of a job interview, basically begging to be able to feed yourself and not be homeless.

haha ya glad you see it that way too, feel like such a fraud doing that dance

I seen your posts.... cant imagine a lifestyle where you @trafalgar would need income from a job 🏄

haha i'm a full time carer for my mom who has a minor disability
I don't post too frequently, partly because this stuff takes a while to write but also because I don't have a lot of time

Thats super nice of you!!! family is so important to us and I would hope that if I ever needed it my family would be there for me in a similar manner!!! Happy to upvote your comments to contribute to your financial freedom to make it easier to be present for her. white light and warmest regards!!!

Engineers rock. Love Engineers - my dad was a Civil Engineer. Such a straight forward bunch of people...no gray there, either it is or it isn't.

Nice post my brother :)

thank you

Well so far I never met someone who says "I love job interviews" :)

i probably should have taken it that direction just to be different

I think it's one of the reasons why I chose technical specialty :D

Here there is no stupid questions from young girls, who read two books on psychology and stole these questions from other same-same girls with some cheap training for recruiters.

haha yeah it's like talking to outsourced technical support but with a teenager accent

"Imagine you snap a straight stick randomly at two different points. What is the probability that you can make a triangle with the remaining pieces?"
Thats 100% right?

nope, as in you can't have one edge sticking out too far
so imagine if you have 3 pieces, but 2 of the shorter pieces put together aren't as long as the larger one, then you can't make a triangle

Well, the question doesnt seem to have such a restriction(you still use all 3 pieces and you form a triangle, even if you have a part of a piece outside the triangle) so I still think its 100%. Otherwise it should state something like "You can't have any excess".
Unless we are talking about subatomic size pieces. In that case I have no idea...
Anyway I dont see the point of such questions in a job interview unless you are applying for ... stick maker? stick theorist? idk

I've already posted it here but pic is great. Written "Tell me honestly: You ever worked with cabbage?"
https://img-fotki.yandex.ru/get/246231/28554600.3/0_1b25d1_55b471fc_XL.jpg

haha nice!

Great post ! I hated job interviews, specially when they asked me about something, that has nothing to do whit the job, like what do you do in the spare time.

you had me at 'specially when they asked me about something'

:D

The answer must involve a golf ball and garden hose...

http://s2.postimg.org/peqyjnf95/unduhan.png

thank you :)

Where do I see myself in 5 years time? Well alive would be a good start

Hehe actually once i replied this way. I am quite strange at interviews but i never lost one.

@trafalgar, maybe you can also post an interview tips?

oh i don't think anyone in this world would ever want advice from me if they know what's good for them :)

Yeah everyone knows whats good for them but you know, some sort of advise only like having an eye to eye while answering the questions of interviewer something like that .. haha

LOL!

A minnow made a comment on one of my posts the last day or so and said they are trying to be like me and I laughed and said something like - "That's no good LOL"

Hey brah! You aint a nobody mkay! Not sure if that part was sarcasm but I think this attitude and being "needy" (trying to do the interview perfect) is what messes with you. You definitely come across smart and witty enough to nail this though!

Had to laugh so hard with the weaknesses question! What about brunettes though?! Like wtf! :p

I'm really surprised they asked you about getting a tattoo! First thing that popped in my head was: 'depends, how much you are paying for it?'.

I tend to just be my own troll self and actually got every job I got an interview for. It's the getting the interview itself that's mostly the issue for me.

Maybe I just got lucky or girls have an easier time, dunno but hey... wish you good luck with the upcoming interviews! ^^

haha that's really awesome, good on you
I usually can't help myself and make a really inappropriate joke along the way
it's just too difficult to not do for someone like me

I think I would have a blast watching you take a job interview lolz!

Well if they can't take some jokes, that's on them you know! Their loss! :p

"Well I COULD get my bosses name on a tattoo, but as I will have your JOB in 5 years, I would have to pay to have it removed..."

Or just ask him upfront to pay for both the setting of the ink and removing it! Like I could get my bosses name... so can you already pay for the removing after 5 years as well? :p

Hmm even if after the interview they will give you the job, no problem but they will ask you to go home and be called, you will be waiting no job for you.

yeah it's annoying and demeaning

A job interview is like a date. Think about it. Two people sitting there, hoping to pass some questions, to get the benefits of a relationship. That's how you have to think of an interview, a relationship you want. You'll be the wittiest and smartest person on earth sitting across from that blonde at the bar right? Its not the interviewers first time, they're probably a little nervous too, which you can use to your advantage, exuding confidence. Learning to use buzz words like eager, punctual and reliable; telling an interviewer that your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. Ive always said, I'm punctual, so I'm always early, which means I'm usually waiting on everyone else, which has made me patient. Guarantee if you look at dates like interviews, your next interview will be a breeze. Cause there's no greater practice for an interview, than a date with an ugly chick from an online dating site. Poker face. :)

oh my dates are train wrecks too

Practice makes perfect my friend. If dates are uncomfortable, find the most unattractive thing about your date, and focus on that. The only way to build confidence is to move out of your comfort zone, every time you do that, your comfort zone gets a little bigger. Ive been contemplating on putting my old dating tips blog on here from a decade ago, I may have too.

"Name a bird with webbed feet 'umm Tiffany from back in my 8th grade geography class whose parents are cousins.'"- LOL

"Where do I see myself in 5 years?" - With any luck sitting at home on the couch getting filthy rich from a workers comp claim!

And finally, the crotchless wedding dress path has permanently burned an image into my brain that will magically resurface at my next job interview. Oh well, like a really even had a chance before.

haha with any luck sitting in a couch and not a wheelchair from my fat workers comp payout

Yes!! Even better.

I finally got my job after 6 layers of interviews. Man oh man that took a long time. And I feel I earned it as I had prepared night and day for it and now finally I got the job. :) Great post. Followed and upped and resteemed your post. Looking forward to reading more of your wonderful posts. See you around :)

thank you :)

The pleasure is all mine :)

nice post :)

I am all but guaranteed to have my brain shut down and then say something of amazing stupidity at every single job interview I've ever done. Worst part of the hiring process.

ya they should skip it and just give me the rejection call
honestly should just call and reject me for positions i've never applied for to save everyone's time

haha, I totally despise interviews.
Sometimes my sentence breaks as nerves rise and it gets pretty awkward to save yourself from the weird slur of mumbo jumbo that comes out of your mouth

ya i can definitely relate to that

I think people just put on a fake persona when they go into an interview. A good interviewee knows what answers the person conducting the interview wants to hear. A good interviewee also has questions prepared to ask, but not just any questions. Questions that makes the interviewee look like he is knowledgeable in the topic.

I would recommend studying the company you are applying for and never do this!! LOL
[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmNzG89sTwWkSYnXhPegwNBKw81wn86ycND3yN7AfvGny9/image.png]

^^^UPVOTED^^^

haha thanks
stepbrothers is awesome
yeah most ppl go in with rehearsed answers, it's all a fraud

Well I guess they go with the adage... 'Fact it till you Make it!'

Job interviews can be stressful. They can ask you a variety of questions and you never know what they're going to throw at you next. A lot of it is subjective. The best advice I can give is research the company online first. Know about their background, history, important dates in their timeline, etc. I did this and one of the responses I got was "you know more about the company than I do!" That felt good lol and I got the job.

that's good advice, thanks :)

I have not done a formal job interview in 7 years and that one was basically a formality. I hate they you basically have to "pretend" in a meeting. How about I be open and honest and then you can decide if I'm someone that should work with you.....as opposed to getting surprised three weeks into the job.

yes absolutely agree :)

"Can you name what you consider a weakness?"
"Well, I keep coming up with ideas that wind up being worth millions to my employer, but forget to document as my IP..."

Try that sometime for a substantially different experience.

hahaha that's awesome

Oh! I'm with you all the way on this one! I have, on more than one occasion, fixed an interviewer with a hard stare and asked "What do you hope to achieve by asking me that?" I also hate the one that asks "Where do you see yourself in five years time?" I always answer with "Where ever, I choose to be." When I was asked what are your main weaknesses, I answered "I fall over after two glasses of wine, I giggle at angry people and I can't run for a bus to save my life." Strangely enough, I actually got the job.

wow, were they hiring mr bean? :)

Ha ha ha. Love it x

thanks

Here in canada business interview like 2000 persons before choosing one so if you are the first one they don't even remember you at the end 😂🙈

unemployment must be pretty high :)

I agree that job interviews are awful. Since I became an independent contractor, I have found them to be much better. No more questions about strengths and weaknesses, what would you do if....... or ridiculous hypothetical questions. Questions are usually based around a description of client need and then asking for examples of where you have met that need previously.

This is a much better approach and leads to a much better outcome. I don't understand why interviews for permanent roles don't take this form also?

beats me, they love asking stupid crap i guess :)

This is very true about modern society. What I find very annoying in this society to add on to what you said, if you are like me, in a third world country with almost no qualifications all I have is my portfolio you would be lucky to just get an interview. It isn't enough to be a person you have to be a person with pieces of paper saying you worth something.!!!

Not always with the interview will appear someone skills ... more interviews to the question and answer ...

yes, that's true enough

At the end of the interview, when they say do you have any questions. I always have to bite my tongue and not say "can I punch you in the face until you pass out?"

lolol

"Is there a company policy governing explosives research while on personal breaks?"

Job interview really sucks

you can say that again

I feel like if you can get to the interview stage, you can control your own destiny (most of the time).

The part that is way worse than the interview is the #online #application process. If you don't meet every bullet point of criteria, the #bots (yes, those AI bastards that could end the world), will throw your resume away and send you a canned email of rejection while the HR folks won't even know you applied.

The key to getting a job is to #network so that you can get the interview. Then at the interview, be yourself. And by the way, the interview is just as much you interviewing the company and the leaders as they are interviewing you. Don't sell yourself short!

haha thanks for the advice :)

There might not be any stupid questions, but there are inappropriate questions.

Having gone through an interview process that had 4 steps, I see that most interviews are mostly pointless. I long for the days of old, where you went up to a job looking for a worker and you showed them what you could do. They would give you a short trail run and if they found you lacking, they would let you go. But, on the other side, if they liked your talent, you had the job!

But, this is a time and place for quick gratification. Employers don't want to wait, they just want someone to hit the ground running, which is highly unreasonable in most cases.

yeah definitely, esp if it's a high skill job

Had quite a lot of interviews this year, and managed to land a job a few months ago. The awkwardness in those can be extreme, especially if you see that this is going nowhere by the middle of a conversation. Regardless, to people who are struggling with it, I have this to say - go in there like you have nothing to lose and don't think too much. I got a job after sending my CV just for the hell of it. And I went in there without any expectations. You never know what might happen.

I know what will happen, I can't resist saying something that's out of line and that's that lol

Gotta love this. Like a well made burger with disdain for patty, in sarcasm sauce seasoned with snootiness. Not all people fit the employee (read: slave) profile. There will always be the anomalies.

haha yup :)

Because when we are interviewed, we look stupid.

yeah
when no one's looking, I'm einstein! soon as someone look i'm a moron

hahahhaha blondes as you weakness made me laugh out loud big time hahaha
And yeah... we have all been through that. I think there´s a lot of hypocrisy on this kind of social meetings. Its normal to try to be someone you actually aren´t. How lame is that? If you get the job, a couple weeks in they are going to realize all the bs you said at the interview, but well... too late now :P

Great post @trafalgar ! thanks for sharing :)

oh yeah, as soon as you land the job you can pretty much just be the second biggest dickhead at the office without fear of repercussions

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBvvmaPyj-k

haha :)

Great post and an entertaining read. I only ever went for one job interview in my teens and decided nope not for me so I became self employed. As a grown up this kind of job interview must just feel like shameful humiliation. I hope you do fantastic in the world of crytocurrency so you can tell the boss where to stick it soon! 😉

haha thank you :)

True! Agree with you

thanks :)

Haha great one!

>The freedom to call the President's mother a whore to his face is very much the gold standard for an egalitarian civilization.

You still should not do this - at least until you know his mother intimately.

haha =)

If she's a whore it will only take a few bucks.

> Imagine you snap a straight stick randomly at two different points. What is the probability that you can make a triangle with the remaining pieces?

You cannot make a triangle if one of the pieces is longer that the sum of the two other pieces.
So, if both points are in the same half of the stick, you cannot make a triangle with the three pieces.

There are two halves in the stick.

Let's suppose that your first point is in the first half. You have 50% chances of this. then, you are able to make a triangle only if your next point is in the second half, again a 50% chance. That gives you 50% x 50% = 25%.

Same probability with the first point in the second half and the second in the first half. 25% again.

So, in total, 25% + 25% = 50%.

You have a probability of 50% of being able to make a triangle with the remaining pieces.

QED

what if the first break is only about 10% into the first half, and the second break is right at the end of the second half? :)

Damn! I am wrong! And a guy with the name of a defeat pointed my mistake! (I am French)

So, what I have just established is that the probability is less than 50%.

L = length of the stick.
If the first point is in the first half, at x between 0 L and 0.5 L, to be able to have a triangle, the second point need to be between 0.5 L and (0.5 + x) L.
I have the feeling that we need to integrate a function, but I an too old and tired for that.

Unless the job is somehow related to snapping sticks or figuring out arcane algorithms, it doesn't fucking matter.

Unfortunately, as a software developer, I sometimes have to figure out arcane algorithms…

took me a long time to get it
it's not an easy question
i can't remember the reasoning, but i remember the answer
you don't need calculus for it, but I'm sure if it's strong enough it can help
you can just reasoning it out in your mind, but it's not easy
i don't want to attempt it again

I cheated and found the answer googling "stick 3 part triangle" :
https://www.quora.com/A-rod-is-broken-into-three-parts-what-is-the-probability-that-the-three-parts-can-be-arranged-to-form-a-triangle

The answer is: 25%

haha yes it is :)
took me a long time thinking it over to get it right

You can still make a triangle...it's just one side would have a longer/running edge beyond the outer limit of the triangle. Granted, it would be a small triangle, but as long as they don't expect each piece to connect exactly at the ends, I think it still qualifies. :-)

haha :)

Wait a minute, I think the response depends on what your definition of a triangle is. A triangle is three connected lines. Unless the interviewer slides a stick and a bottle of Elmer's glue across the table then you are just dealing with three sticks pushed together and that, my friends, is not a triangle. Do I have any of my fellow brothers in Mensa here that can give me an Ahmen?

how thick is the stick tho, gotta think about slenderness ratios.... can only contact at the outter edge of the stick so the perimeter of the triangle would be the interior edges not the centerline.

Lol! Let's not complicate things too much!

But a triangle can be made with two parts. Just will not have one wand :)

and the most stupid question of all ...how much do you want as salary???

haha ya there's no winning there
you either undersell yourself or you go over and don't land the job

absolutely ...

'Well, where do I start?' or 'Stealing office supplies' or 'Blondes'.

Ha, well, next time just say it! Great way to break the ice and actually leading the conversation.

I personally like job interviews. In my mind I have nothing to lose, so why not give it all I got and can think of. At the end of the conversation I've either left a noteworthy impression or I'm just not a match for the company in which case I shouldn't be working there anyway.

that's a great attitude to have
i'm just too cynical to adopt it myself really

I actually help people with resumes and job interviews as a side business. The biggest take away is that it's all performance. You're putting on a persona. No one cares about who you are deep inside. At least no business does.

So think of all the interesting parts of you and present those. Recall two events in your work history and turn them into stories. Bring one humanizing hobby like sports or board games. And remember that, yes, it's all bullshit in the end.

If you think about it like a game or performance, it helps swallow the tedious crap of the whole thing 😃.

haha great advice, but I can't help being a wisecrack in these settings

You are so amazing in every way

haha thank you

Job interviews are one part of the job process that I dislike the most. You are basically at the mercy of the interviewer as they have the ultimate say in you getting the job or not.

I even tried getting a job through my current employer in another department and it turned into an awkward conversation with someone I see everyday. I ended up not getting the position even though I was told that I had a top 2 interview and should have got the job.

One job interview I had, they started asking me riddles and timing how long it took to answer. It was terrifying!

LOL that's insane!

There's only one interview technique that matters... Do your homework so you can listen to the answers and react to them and ask follow-ups. Do your homework, prepare.
,thanks for sharing ,
kindle find time to up vote any work on my page
@abbeymelchizedek

i suppose that's sound advice
I'm guessing deep down inside I don't really want the job most of the time

okey

> stable stream of resources necessary to subsist

--

Nailed it right there. Most people are barely subsisting with the pressures on them. I hardly ever see anyone using that word anymore, but I have for 30 years.

I used it a lot in my activism speeches too.

Nice stuff man, have a good weekend @trafalgar.

thaanks a lot, you too barry

@trafalgar can't connect net often times and looking forward to know who's the winner of your contest and one of the not so unlikely one answer is mine hahaha.

Yes job interviews are scary :(

Barry, I just upvoted your comment but since I am currently nothing more than a little desert mouse here on Steemit it only gave you 4 cents. I did want to congratulate you on your winning of the Steemfest contest! The other day, before I knew anything about you, I made kind of a snarky comment in regards to your salad post. Then you responded back to me and you were so warm and welcoming to me since I am just a noob here on the Steemit platform that I really felt great about being here on Steemit. A few days later I read your comments under the Steemfest post and I felt so bad when I learned that you had been in a serious car accident. It really brought a smile to my face when I read that you ended up a winning the contest. I hope you have a great time in Lisbon. I love that city!

Thanks for the comments Paul.

I suffered thru the driest darkest days here when my posts made literally 5 10 or 50¢ for months.

The reason my posts started making more money is because I gained a reputation for trying to build community, be nice, and encouraging to people, and put out a lot of solid advice, and some of my activism stuff.

People asked me to write more personal things, the salad post was one of them --- I did not want to write much personal type info on here so that was also me trying to branch out.

Thanks for taking time my man. That was nice of you.

No problem, Barry. Although I think your considerate and thoughtful response is worth more than the 13 cents my up vote just gave you. I hope your trip to Portugal is awesome and as one of your many followers I hope you post some great Steemfest moments for us all to enjoy. But don't feel any pressure to do so, just enjoy the experience. :-)

I think your outreach to me is one of the nice things I have seen, it is great of you!

The apology was worth more than 13¢ buddy!

have a look on my posts today, you will get a laugh, and also maybe learn something with us after too!!

Nite my man!

Nice to meet you sir,
If you got sometime,will you please read this artical,i hope you really like it,
Thanks

https://steemit.com/steemit/@thecrytotrader/11-steps-you-should-follow-to-increase-your-reputation-score-and-gain-more-attention-on-steemit

If not all steemians community can reply but most or many of the neighborhood like to engage conversation and replies us and yes one of the good man is @barrydutton and congratulation man! And hopefully everything is ok. For newbies or not we are really glad and felt happy if somebody that came higher than us will replies us and noticed our effort. So goooo steem!!

Thank you for your comments, Diane. I just checked out your past posts and I noticed that you write some beautiful original poetry! Steemit is lucky to have you. 🙂

Ooh what a nice words to have from you, thank you a lot! :) Everyone is trying to be someone and steemians make us one. Goo steem!

The Energy Level here on Steemit is unmatched...we 80s babies have been starving for this Type of environment to expose it self...Above All Love and keep it steemie @paul.atreides love your content and connection Power @trafalgar

Thank you for the kind words, Erron!

Hello, I am just starting steemit and I would like some advice if you don't mind. Thank you

what if you were asked to tell a joke at a job interview what would you say?

[IMAGE: http://visionity.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/So-why-do-you-want-this-job-meme.jpg]

hahaha :)

LoL
Career opportunities for ones that never knock... :D
Sharp humor as ever. Thank you for another awesome post.

Please, if you catch a minute, take a look at my last few posts @velimir
Thank you my dear friend @trafalgar !

haha thank you
upvoted a couple of them :)

thank you, my friend, always nice when you take a look at my work! :)

Interviewer asks, What tattoo would you get if you had to get a tattoo? Answer, The thing is I don't get tattoos. What, do you mark your employees?

hahaha with a barcode like in hitman

Haha! Where to begin T !?! I come from laborious labor. I've done jobs such as landscaping, being a welder's early on helper, electrician, caddying at Augusta National, I've even worked on a lobster boat for a time up in Maine out of Bar Harbor and for these jobs a person was judged on a hand shake and then his work ethics, mannerisms and getting the job done and done correctly. In those days you had a trial period along with a brief conversation about what was expected of you followed by a firm hand shake and the words "you're hired." There was no sitting down in front of someone whose NEVER done the job you're interviewing for before. No weird, strange, repetitive questions that absolutely answer nothing for the employer. You see, this is the age of "corporations". I work for one now and it is a strange world indeed. I'd love to go back to the days before when someone wasn't "working" out you could just show them the door. I want someone beside me who knows the job and wants to get it done "correctly" not someone who answered all the meaningless questions correctly or has a degree in under water basket weaving. Too many unqualified or should I say uncaring people slip through the cracks with this corporate system not to mention all the corporate classes that one has to go through after being hired. I digress........... touchy subject. Maybe I should go into business for myself.........hmmmmmmmm. Thanks for stirring the pot. Always enjoy.

haha well I respect that
office interviews are the worst, they treat you like an idiot and it's really condescending

I agree. I wouldn't say I'm a corporate man at all.

We won't need job interviews in the future years I think. Atleast us, that are participating in the new era of crypto world. We have cryptocurrencies investment, steemit, so many altcoin projects going on that we can participate and profit from. We need to research and go in!

But of course i agree with you in many aspects, i just think that it will a thing of the past, in the near future, if you know what I mean.

Good post Trafalgar!

oh yeah definitely agree there
it's an antiquated technique of hiring labor

Even at an education level. Interviews for scholarships are equally as stupid. I worked for the university admissions team for a brief time as a student assistant and it is almost guaranteed that a wager is already set pre interview just plainly based on the 1 page A4 sized CV you send in. Interviews are more than often just for show, yet here we are.

ya that's so silly and a waste of resources

People should stop thinking this way. In my opinion, if you are ready for the job you will feel it. Interviewer needs to know that.
It is like fair trade: good job=good money. No reason to place ourselves in slave position and moaning for the job, trying hard to be special. As an employer I am always looking for someone who is different then others.
I have also heard an opinion, that you should send short information about yours company and on interview just check if someone read it. 80% will not do this...

ya fair enough, good point

Interview is a game of lying..see which side believe the other...

i try but my lies are always a bit far fetched

Very good post!

As a manager I'm used to do this interviews all the time. I find them very pointless but it's a company standard.

I do support more the "trial shift" part, as it's better to see if a person will be good at the job or not.

At the normal 1 to 1 interviews the only thing I can see is who has been in loads of interviews before, as they come most of the time with all answers "prepared". Times to times someone really surprises me with creativity in some of the questions, but creativity doesn't mean someone is able to do certain jobs.

Upvoted ;)

thanks a lot
yeah i think the probationary period is good, you can at least see if people are competent

Great post

So much truth spoken here !! We are always asked our weakness and our strengths , they expect so much from an interview instead why not try us out at the job for the day and see our strengths and weakness

haha yeah it's insane
and tedious

you know that ?
http://www.reversejobapplication.com

haha nice piece, never seen it before :)

Another issue about job interview is that in big companies, only the HR managers do most of the primary screening of the interviews. So pretty much the manager determines what potential candidates are left for the CEO or higher managers to decide on.

I mean if I set up a company and want it to keep running, I would probably want to know each of my staff before I can trust them in helping my company to grow. After all, its my decisions that guide the company to current state, and leaving such important decision to someone who doesn't owns the company is some what stupid. There could always be someone which you might be able to see something special in him/her, but the HR manager decided he wasn't good enough on some paper records....

ya the added bureaucracy makes it less efficient and effective

damn it I can't tell how much I hate job interview! I never agree a job interview can really help an employer to choose one suits him, by asking those standard questions!! Well, I guess group discussion is a relatively better way, tho it makes those interviewees become so aggresive ..

haha yes! I've been in those group interviews
always some obnoxious guy who's desperate to impress

https://media.giphy.com/media/Zw0RQdfrH0edi/giphy.gif

good point :)

....and you get a job :D

Worse than job interviews: cover letters.

lol just draw dicks on them

Well, that for sure will prevent you from having to go for the dreaded interview ;-)

I hate that question - "How would you describe yourself in 3 words".

But I love this response by Dwight.

[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmdMJc4rKDmS6HUNZpGo1f7FnVE71jXX36UnbL7aXo4F8c/image.png]

haha ya he's a legend

I've been blessed in that I haven't had many interviews with these sort of questions. Then again, my position typically doesn't have many people applying for the job in the first place.

If I were asked some of these questions it would feel as if the interviewer was being demeaning which isn't a really good intro into the workplace if you did get the job. I feel some of the time these questions are asked because they don't have anything better to ask.

yeah it's just a series of stock questions
so pointless

To be honest I love job interviews, I don`t know why but i get such an adrenaline rush, and my mind is sharp, clear and precise ;)

i think it can be fun if you don't take it too seriously

Sometime in the mid 2000's, I was forced back into the job interview game and it was a nightmare.

After the first few terrifying interviews I found a cheat code: Valium. It was amazing! I was able to let my personality shine through no matter what they asked. Then I finally landed the interview that would change my life, so I came prepared. I role played the night before, took a valium and proceeded to win my would-be-employer over.

Things went great! I couldn't have been more impressed with how I handled the interview and as I proceeded to tell my roommates about it once I got home, they asked "Why are you slurring your words?"

Needless to say none of these companies ever called me for a second interview and I got a bad reputation around town.

hahaha
can just imagine you drooling and slobbering everywhere in the interview

I read your other piece btw, chat is down so i coudln't get back to you, it's very good :) I'd hit the punchlines a little quicker when I go off on a tangent so i can bring it back sooner, but that's just me

@Trafalgar, hire me pl0x :)

haha sure, you're hired to umm flag everyone's posts that's not mine :)

I read your good article well.
Thank you.

At my last job interview I had to cut off some idiot's head. It was the last time I ever had fun with my boss.

http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2015/11/SS-Episode-III-Dooku-and-Anakin.jpg

haha why don't you ever use the blue lightsaber any more?

Red is so much more menacing. I gave that blue one up when I gave up being a total whiny wuss. I hear someone else may have picked it up...

they did, but I think you made them drop it again :)

you do make very good points and i upvoted

Yea I hate them too, especially in the programming field. They make you code on a white board, asking questions on algorithm... it's the worst. I'm trying to take the entrepreneur route, hopefully I never have to be the one interviewing. Following, look forward to your next post.

thanks a lot
i guess the questions in programming interviews are more interesting though

Hahah cool post!
[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmTYnQ95NsXL2UpcuVNBsiDkWSSPD8JcJrFV9Jw8hf49ck/1379869_1388768811359470_1133018570_n.jpg]

thank you

You're so real and I love that! You just cut the crap and get straight to the point. Yea I also believe job interviews suck big time. Hopefully steemit can provide us with financial independence in order for us to live our life instead of sitting behind a desk working our lives away.

yeah that would be awesome
job interviews are just a facade

I also do not really like an interview but it is very important for our career in the future there will always be two different stories about liking and disliking something.

Awesome post bro :D but dont forget to upvote my blog too :)

thanks a lot for having a read

I disagree.

You've got to have some way to determine who is the best person for the job.

If a group of people are asked the SAME stupid questions, you can still pick out the best of the bunch.

haha probably
probably prefer standardized tests though

I do agree, a job interview can lead you to get the job and then you have to start working. I hate working! :p

Im with you on that. Job interviews are a bunch of average people judging you and expecting above average performance. If they weren't all so average they'd be entrepreneurs. I lost my job recently and decided to start a business, partly because i dislike the interview process.

haha fair enough
ya the dynamics is pretty awkward

yup... I had totally forgotten about those interviews experiences until I had to go back to job search a year ago.
Refreshed my mind... and realized that going back to corporate was an insane idea. )

indeed it is
it's a tedious and patronizing process

the whole recruitment process is broken - it only works for standardized stuff - but it never finds the germs!

The nuts and bolts of it. This is life in the modern era; not all movement is progress! Hope you find the best job in the world.

thank you :)

If a "job" is nothing more than a status from which "resources" flow to you, then your comments make sense. And no better experiences than those you describe could possibly be imagined. If you actually want to invent something, for example, then applying for a "job" with an inventor might not be demeaning. I am not equal to the person I used to be. And I hope that my work makes me a better person tomorrow.

that's a very insightful way of looking at it
unfortunately most of us aren't in a position to be too picky and a job is merely a way of subsistence

right

i hate going to job interviews.............. hopefully using this service i won't need to.

yup, best of luck to us all on this platform

my vote is for non crypto article .

thanks for sharing .

thanks a lot =) glad you appreciate other content

This is some hate that I truly love. I share your sentiment 482759508272748593%. It's funny to think that some people's roles in life are interviewers. Imagine what a terrible existence that would be . . .

One of my most hated aspects of interviews is the expectation of dressing "right." It's like you have to go into the interview to please and worship them in every way. It's just gross. It's like giving up on yourself and bowing down to someone. DO NOT LIKE.

Preach on, my brother . . .

yes you're sort of dressed in a monkey suit hoping to impress by someone who's there to judge whether your'e worthy
it's pretty demeaning

An interview for a project is indispensable, with this interview, the committee concerned will be more aware of our personal nature like what.

Indeed most of all the average person hates the interview, including me too. But I always prepare for a job application that I will target, which becomes an awkwardness is when we prepare the contents or answers from the interview, none of them in question.

But, this includes the thoughts of each person!

sound advice there barvon :)

Yes, thanks @trafalgar
You are very good, have a nice day.

the thought of going to a job interview right now makes my skin crawl. does this make me a bad person? :)

yes! you're a terrible person
haha :)

I think job interviews are totally fine, as I work in the IT sector, I always find it funny when the HR person present at the interview asks those cheesy questions like 'Where do you see yourself in 2 years?'. It is obvious he/she wants to check if I plan to stay in their company for a longer period.

My advice is to focus on giving a good impression to the person that might become your manager, for example the senior developer who asks you questions to see if you know your field, not some generic questions which are irrelevant to the job position you are applying for.

ya getting interesting little problems to solve is refreshing
if you can solve them
otherwise you just sit there looking like a gibbering idiot lol

I opt for a turned around job interview. Just to get rid of the old thinking. Like so you want to work here? Well ask us some questions, meet your future colleagues. I hope you like them. We invited you because we as a company do hope we will fit in where you really would like to work.

haha nice approach

Lol very true.

One of the things I have noticed myself is that the first few seconds are crucial - if you handle that well then you can generally ace it.

One of the things that has tripped me up before (although not enough to lose the job but enough to be embarrassing) is the question:

>"Is there anything you would like to ask us?"

Simply answering "no" can create an awkward silence.

hahaha yeah if your'e not expecting it you're sort of forced to either just say no or ask some meaningless bullshit lol

Saying no says you didn't do your homework. You should ask them about those rewards and marketing bs you saw on their website.

Or maybe it is just being honest. Why should you make something up?

Just ask them a random riddle and time it.

Just literally ask them anything about the company. Or ask them to repeat a crucial bit of info that you feel is important to knowing how to work there (showing interest and thinking you will be hired). This has never failed me so far. I always have it in my mind that saying "no" for that question is the worst thing you can do.

Yes I have heard that too. An alternative is to say something along the lines of "I think we have covered everything for now."

Interesting tip

I only had 2 job interviews in my lifetime I am so happy it was only 2

haha fingers crossed it'll stay that way :)

Lol, A lot of people can relate apparently. Great article, I'm bookmarking it for later.

haha they're just a few jokes in there :)

[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmXMgFpqQWRzswEJiPiAC7B3cVuhyKYgpFw1K1XmWW5Cwg/DCyqf6bXsAEnGO2.jpg]

lol

All I can think about during job interviews these days is how much better of a job I could do than the _____ who's asking me dumb Q's !!

yeah absolutely
most of the time they're some clueless moron going through the motions

Are you sure you're not an Aussie? That so sounds like my experiences of job interviews and I couldn't help but take the piss in those situations either. Still thankfully most of the time I still got the job, even lawyer positions in big law firms and government departments (poor bastards they must have been desperate ). Either that or it just pays to be a smart arse if your a lawyer

why would i be sure i'm not an aussie when i'm sure I am one? :)

Sorry mate! I didn't notice a teamaustralia thingy around anywhere...and thought with your sense of humour you were bound to be a member. But hey I've only been on steemit a week I can scarcely find my account ;-)

I was only one time to a job interview and after all those stupid or not so stupid questions they told me I will call you in a week to tell you if you got the job or not! Of course, ​they didn't call and I knew that, but in that moment I say to myself to never go to a job interview.
Great reading @trafalgar!

I have an interview tomorrow morning and reading this post at 1.29 am in India, thinking Do I really need to go for it?

hahaha good luck
don't take any of my advice, i'm full of shit

Not had that many interviews in life but the ones that i have and the ones that i have been succesful in I felt have almost been full of lies and just what the interviewer wanted me to hear....that may sound obvious but are they really getting to no who they are employing.
They must no that folk are playing to the music and almost stringing them along

yes it's a complete bs process

I have never cleared any job interviews and hence Steemit. Steemit rocks :P

haha i'm in the same boat as you're in

lol great movie
steve carrel's just eating some snacks there lol

please vote and follow..I have follow you back...
https://steemit.com/ethereum/@thegame68/ethereum-price-technical-analysis

I should just go on interviews just to say what is really on my mind..Holy shit they just might hire me.

ya probably worth a shot!

My job interview, I'm awesome.. you need me.

haha, could work!

Last job interview I had, i was very tired and stressout. I really needed a job but i did not want the job i was being interviewed for. So when it came to the were do you see you self in 5 years, I awnsered with hopeful not here. Unfortunatly, they did not appericate my honesty and it didnt work out

hahahaha! well good on you!

I have been on both ends of the interview process (ironically enough within the past two weeks), and I don't understand as an interviewer what some of the typical interview questions could possibly accomplish except that most interviewers feel like they have to ask them. When you ask somebody "what is your greatest flaw?" in an interview, what do you really expect? It's a lose-lose for the interviewee and do you really learn anything from it? When I interview people, I try to ask open-ended questions that allow people to speak naturally. I don't want to know how somebody interviews, I want to know who they are and whether we will work well together.

yeah that's definitely the better approach

Totally agree, that's what's important!

>Where do I see myself in 5 years time? Well alive would be a good start

I love this answer! I was asked this yesterday. I told the interviewer, "If you asked me that 5 years ago, my answer would not have even been close to where I am now. I've given up on speculating where I'll be. I do know that I want to be doing something that makes me excited to wake up in the morning."

Hang on - apart from being a very entertaining post as usual - stop fishing for compliments all the time lol.

Job interview - two people is a no go - i had it when I started my current job but that is middle age stuff - we have job interviews where at least three people from the company will nail you lol.

The stupid questions like What would you say is one of your weaknesses? are still there and you know for sure how to tackle them turning your weakness in a strength - not difficult for talents like you @trafalgar

Stealing Blondes or get them laid is sth every employers knows you will try - solution from our side - female colleagues look like this:

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/k0IU5eat1Mo/hqdefault.jpg

The rest is where i need to dive into tomorrow (maybe I lie) as I have no time now! But sure you will achieve any goal you might have not nailed yet! Namaste!

hahaha fair enough :)

No you always take a positive and spin it into a negative. "My issue is that I always want to take on more work and sometimes don't understand my own limitations. I am always eager to help my teammates and as long as the team is successful then it shines a good light on all of us." You can use that, I give you permission. :)

@uwelang What a pretty face :D Is that your dog?

hmmm - not allowed to mention real ID :-)

pitty :P

I agree. They're the worst. I have never enjoyed a job I've gotten through interviews. Forcing yourself in a box of somebody else for money and approval. how can it be anything but awkward. I'm sure the interviewers would rather not, as well.

[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmSBPXNPKv5PirZwrkSAxC3snD6nXpT2y9YqfzDZymu6sP/th.jpeg]
Pick Me! Pick Me!

I can totally relate to this, I hate job interviews, I'm shit at them, I'm just not a good speaker. My ability to adapt and do great at any job is fantastic.
Any challenge I can do, but can never get past the interview stage because I'm just not a good talker.
I can't think of an answer fast enough, of course all the perfect answers come to me as soon as I've left the interview room but on the spot I'm shit
I hate interviews.

L'esprit de l'escalier
means as I'm walking down the stairs (I came up with the perfect retort)
:)

In this day, one of the stupid question I think is where do you see yourself in 5 years time. Dude, I think 5 years time, your company may not even exists. Good luck.

haha
because I'll be stealing all your know how and outcompeting you

First the taxis are being threaten by Uber but Uber drivers are being threated by Uber also because the ultimate is: DAVE? Driverless Autonomous VEhicle.

I hate jobs more than job interviews!

lol
so true
fail the interview = win/win

I even go further: I never look for job interviews!

Job interviews are more about fitting into the company/office culture more than anything else. Once you're through the HR filter, the management want you to blend in with their fellow employees. It always helps to google the management and let them talk about their interests. Remember not to act too ambitious or they'll think you're after their job.

haha where do you see yourself in 5 years time? As your boss!!

stable stream of assets important to subsist

Nailed it in that spot. The vast majority are scarcely subsisting with the weights on them. I scarcely ever observe anybody utilizing that word any longer, yet I have for a long time.

I utilized it a ton in my activism discourses as well.

yes it's just a means to an end really
for most of us anyway

totally agreed with you...my friend...

thank you :)

:))

Another thing that annoys me is people that say I should be grateful to have a job. Yeah... I'm really grateful working an underpaid job for some asshole I don't like. Which is most jobs.

ya exactly
most of us just do it because it's a means to an end

$!@%$ interviews! So fake... Not all are. Those are the companies I accept the offer for.

ya they're a total sham and completely worthless

I'm a Psychologist, so I've had had to be on the other side of the table a couple of times too, and I have to say: For those asking the questions it's no easy job either, if the applicant screws up, we are also responsable. Furthermore, some people lie even about their age, so that makes every interview really exhausting.

So a great tip is: Remember the interviewer is human too! Empathy will go a long way.

Thanks for sharing! You got a new follower. If you're interested in short stories, I'm a writer and I think you'd enjoy my stories here on Steem. ^^

Something I forgot to mention in my reply to @trafalgar... If you got as far as the interview you can let yourself feel at least a bit confident... they wouldn't be wasting their time interviewing you if you didn't have a skill set they needed.

haha well i'm only 14 so i wouldn't know better

Ever thought you were going to get a job. Then hear we will contact you never to hear from them again. I Once asked what is the next step. The Guy said Tiffany will call you either way tomorrow or Monday. Nothing happened...did he give her my number ? Or the Interviewer who told me a company secret. We are not hiring now, we are building a list of potential clients in case some one leaves in the next 6 months. I need a job ASAP not in 6 months. Why do you think I answered your invite in the first place. Not to say Hi & I may need a job in 6 months or later.

ya most of the time it's a lie too
rather they just told me outright that i was shit and didn't get it

By being underemployed you can free yourself from the man and playing his games at the job interview.

Benefits of being your own boss.

ya that's definitely true

Yes. But to be own boss need insights too! But I see what you mean!

I hate job interviews because it means I'm trying to get a job

haha not necessarily true
you can go to them if you're already a retired millionaire just for fun :)

lmao

nice one

I'll be honest job interviews are interesting. I can think of times where I would just over exaggerate my social and work ethic skills just to get hired.

haha i suppose if you treat it as a social game it can be kinda fun
but for most people it's pretty daunting

Jon interviews are pretentious and I suck at pretending. Every single job I ever got was because I was blunt with the boss and they just happened to like the way I talked.

In my last interview the boss interviewed me. He asked what I thought of the company. I replied "Well, it is a circus but we can make it look better". He hired me on the spot.

This happened perhaps twice in my long career. The most disheartening thing though about interviews is that they expect you to be a tool, not yourself.

I am now my own boss. Could never go back.

"Ok Mr. Trafalgar, I'm sure we will be in touch with you soon. Just leave us your Facebook password and the phone number of your most recent ex-girlfriend on your way out."

here, 52358954
note that he's post op now

Oh Shucks! I forgot to mention that we will need finger prints and those transcripts from West Sydney Wallaby Community College too......wait a minute. A humble mouse like me should not be trolling a whale. Mr. T., your investment in this exciting endeavor is one of the reasons we all are able to be here. We luv you Mr. T.! If I was your personal investment advisor then perhaps I would tell you to bug out to New Zealand and buy that ranch. Alas, I am not, so my dreams of being a cowboy and sheering sheep for a living will have to wait.

Great job, keep the posts coming. Really enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing :)

thanks firepower =)

"tell me something about yourself that's not on your resume"

I got stealing things
oh that's on there? nevermind

lol
http://i1.wp.com/grownupsurvivalguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/interview-meme.jpg?fit=450%2C310

This is something I can relate into. We are all lucky that we are in this generation where we have options to work in the comfort of our home and we have this growing technology that gives us lots of opportunities 🙌🏻😊

yes its truly awesome isn't it?

JOB INTERVIEWS I FIND IS SO UNTRUE. I FEEL THAT A PERSON'S RESUME IS SO MADE UP TO MAKE A PERSON SO GOOD AND APPEALING. BUT IN ESSENCE, IN MY OPINION, A PERSON'S ASTROLOGY SIGN IS MORE REVEALING. YOU LEARN A LOT KNOWING A PERSON'S SIGN. IT GIVES YOU A WINDOW TO A PERSON'S CHARACTER, ENERGY LEVEL, AND NATURAL TENDENCIES. WHEN INTERVIEWING, I JUST IGNORE THE BS AND GO STRAIGHT TO THE PERSON'S DOB AND TAKE IT FROM THERE TO JUDGE AND ANALYZE POTENTIAL EMPLOYEE CANDIDATE.

haha ya it's a sham on both sides

please follow me @steppingout23 and will follow you back. You've got great content.

I Hate Interviews jobs too .

glad you can relate :)

:)) npr

Me too, I hate job interviews. one of the worst things in life

yup, it's all bullshit

"What would you say is one of your weaknesses?" Was there ever a stupid-er question? Great article! Thanks.

thank you =)

There is a lot of evidence these questions do nothing, and overall job interviews have a predicting power of a coin flip in determining suitability (and that term itself needs contextually relevant unpacking) of a candidate for the job.

It is a different question whether you have a choice or not. The choice is to have a job or not to have a job, and I think it is naive to go to an interview and expect the interviewer to respect your intellectual capacity. It is not going to happen because the interviewer, if smart, is probably a pawn in a larger game or, if stupid, is, well, too stupid to understand they are doing it wrong.

That said, when I was young and asked about my weakness, I answered "ice cream" and smiled charmingly. They never called me back. And 2 years later they closed down. Yes, I felt good. Because ice cream. =)

hahaha yes you're right, if you want what they have to offer you have to play by their daft rules
and ice cream rules :)

my mam@mamm....i come from Thailand.... , i just new here and hope you have fun and share more post and hope we can be friend enjoy about our post...so my Englisg is't very well, but will try the best for that....
so should be nice if we are follow each another and vote... i will follow you and vote, have a nice day dear. and see you soon dear ^_^

Thank you for sharing😙😙😙

thanks

Nice to meet new friends.

The story of every person outside there.

yes exactly

Frankly speaking i don't faced a yet.

I only had one job interview ... it's been so many years I don't even remember. After that I was only holding job interviews - I never liked it!

Today I would go as far as saying why do we need jobs in the first place! I think I will write a piece on that! @trafalgar thanks for the inspiration!

haha no problems, good luck with your piece

LOL, nice take on interviews. I wonder how many HR are reading this and ready to screw you next time you face them!!!!

haha come get me you HR losers!!!

I don't like job interviews as well. They're such a drag and there's really no point to it most of the time. I mean, you can't really judge a person on first impression alone. You also can't judge them on their background as well. You just never know until they do the work.

You are so right! These days, everything is about appearance and pretence. You can prepare an interview to the last details and say exactly the perfect words that will get you the job, even if you are not the person you are "selling".

I wish companies and interviewers would take a chance more often on sincerity and passion in candidate rather than ticking all the boxes.

Happy to read this kind of post, thanks for this @trafalgar!!

Up voting and resteeming

thanks a lot
yeah the whole thing's a facade

While I see your point I disagree, job interviews are supposed to be a test of merit and ability to see if you are fit for the job, Equality is a fallacy in most cases, some will be better suited for a job than you, and you will be better suited that someone else, We aren't inherently equal, Natural Hierarchy exists.

that's fair enough
most of my points are completely exaggerated for a laugh anyway
thanks for having a look

As a redux to this, I must re-post something recently posted by Citizen Press Corp. This girl lost her job for showing up 2.5 hours late on her first day on the job. Apparently "DO you have any work ethic?" was not an interview question. But this is very funny and should be an onion post. Sadly it is not: https://steemit.com/maga/@citizenpresscorp/triggered-harvard-libtard-triggered-for-being-fired-on-first-day-of-work-for-being-2-5-hours-late

haha nice

Keep the spirit :)

Follow me @bangjal and see my content

A Job Interview is like walking on fire while smiling, juggling balls and pitching a person who sold his/her soul for the corporate industry to make you a top class cultural slave. Great Post!!

yep I agree entirely
thank you =)

I have been interviewing a few people in the last few years and I would have loved if anyone would have said : blondes! As their biggest weakness. Wonderful post. Very funny and well written.

Totally agree! I hate interviews too - it's just waste of time. If you are a good specialist you do not need to be interviewed. I had my last interview more then 10 years ago.

haha lucky you
I guess I'm not at all a good specialist :(

Splendid author. Thank you, you made my day)

thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it

Interesting thoughts. Seriously though, you've been asked about a tattoo?

yes, one of those silly questions
like if you could be any animal, what would you be? etc

Hehe. God thanks I have no job interview to do. Resteemed :-)

haha lucky you
and thank you :)

You are very welcome @trafalgar :-)

thank you for share I like it goodluck and thanx all steemers

I actually like job interviews. I think it's since I was given the tip to imagine the interviewer naked wearing a clown's nose. Imagining that seems to give me a sick sense of one-upmanship.

well depends on what the interviewer looks like lol
or maybe one day your interviewer will actually be naked wearing a clown nose and you won't have to use your imagination at all

We need to undergo interview if we need to work under an employer. Otherwise try to become an employer

haha i'll just settle for unemployed :)

I am a recruiter and for the love of God I wouldn't know why to ask about piano tuners?! I just want to get to know the candidate, and the more comfortable I make them feel, the more authentic they come accross, win / win.
Sorry you have to endure so much BS.
Better luck next time!

haha thanks a lot :)
so how many piano tuners are there in the city of new york anyway? :)

Hiring is not the important part, FIRING is! You can hire someone that is amazing and get lucky, but if you hire someone that doesn't fit well in the company, get them out and start over.. People are scared to admit their mistakes during the hiring process, and just keep the wrong people around for too long

haha like comey
i'm surprised trump didn't use his catchphrase to be honest

''You're fired'' lmao! Didn't even think of that

But if you think about it, it is het best strategy to keep a company health, hiring amazing people is just hard, firing shitty people should be easy (although a lot of companies just lack the balls to do that, bad at admitting mistakes they made)

Really nice post dear friend

Very interesting post although I do not understand people

"What's your weakness?"
What if I say perfectionism is both a weakness and a strength?
... "And don't say you're perfectionist!"
Oops "I'm... shy?"

ahaha :)

Yes, they expect us to be 180% perfect.

yeah
i'm only 179%

Darn I'm only 125% ... :(

Very nice piece of work.

thank you

Just looking at the different views in the comments demoralizes me. As im soon going to be entering this phase in my life.

Even i dont want to work under boss.

I loved this. I hate it when my internet goes down. It is scary how we are so obsessed and lost without internet. I feel like I can't do anything if I don't have internet! LOL!

A very funny take on what is actually a sad state of affairs. I've been wondering when job interviewing became so degrading.

It seems to me it wasn't always such a demeaning series of 'hoops' to jump through---even trained seals get a fish for jumping through the hoops, yet job-seekers often don't even get the courtesy of a return phone call.

The interview process has become more like hazing week for a college frat than the simple, straightforward process of matching a job opening with appropriate candidates that it should be.

What warped minds dream up those asinine, ludicrous questions? And what kind of pedantic automotons can even ask them with a straight face?

Don't get me started on the aptitude tests with 'questions even the Asian kids leave blank on a calculus exam'. Did some evil math teacher with a vendetta against humanity come up with this stuff? Is the ability to answer such questions really more important than the real world experience on my resume/CV?

Why does it take 3 or more interviews spread out over the course of a month for the same role when most experts say that we already make our decisions about people in the first few seconds after meeting them?

Are HR personnel just drunk on power? Maybe they're bored? If this is what these types do when they're bored, then for the love of God and humanity, give them some filing to do, or watering the plants, or something. Clearly they are dangerous when left with too much time on their hands.

You've really touched a nerve with this post for many people. If someday I have my own business, I will not torment those who respond to my help wanted posts. Nor will I be so cruel as to waste the time and resources of the unemployed by dragging out the interview process over many weeks.

No, I will treat them like I would want to be treated. I will not ask them any question I myself would not want to answer. I will evaluate them based on their real-world skills and experience, not how well they do on silly aptitude tests. I will make a decision on their candidacy within 24-48 hours so they can get a decent night's sleep without worrying about whether they got the job or not. In short, I will treat them like human beings.

[IMAGE: https://img.esteem.ws/zk9i98tchj.jpg]
ME AT JOB INTERVIEWS 😂😛

Super welled said. I really hate those stupid questions. HR said those queation can make them know your personalities or strength, no they are not. For me I am a super nervous person.I need time to think. If people ask me a question that I have not prepared, I cannot deliver a good answer. Job interveiws only suit for people with certain personalities,ie the outroverts.

ive had one interview in my life and got the job so not much messed up with it :)

"In a society where it's important to at least pretend everyone is equal, job interviews are a stark and constant reminder that we're not."

-Best comment on Steemit today!

I would probably hate them if anyone would actually invite me to an interview x_X. No worries though, I will just send CVs left and right and wait. Like a cheetah in grass

Hmm, that's a nice read and the best part i like is about the stupid questions. Yes, in an interview stupid questions are asked and an extraordinary answer is expected sometimes. The artificial smile may leave you with an aching face afterwards.

Nice topic about interviews! As technology becomes more advanced, I do think there are more ways of assessing a candidate on top of traditional interview questions. For example, nowadays companies will look for personal websites, githubs, linkedin and something like that. Online presence can showcase your continuous effort, which is also a main consideration by companies (at least for the tech sector)

Funny, I always loved job interviews. It's been so long for me though. I have been freelancing for 10 yrs plus now and I worry if I ever had to do a traditional job that I wouldn't know what to do. The actual interview though, I don't mind. They always were something I was good at.

Job interviews is the hardest part of application process. But for me, Im going to take my chance because of this https://steemit.com/jobless/@juvyjabian/the-worst-day-of-my-life-i-just-lost-my-job

So goddamn true! :)

Ahhh i do hate interviews and still after answering those questions all they said is "we will call you" I'f they only knew, every applicants knows what does it mean. Given is falls hope, how I loved to slam their faces hahaha!

This made me think about this video which depicts how comic job interviews really are.

If everyone was honest at job interviews:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBvvmaPyj-k

Hating job interviews really does make good sence!

I think what people need to remember is that it is all about communication in a job interview. Your resume will get you that seat in front to the interviewer but after that it it up to you to show them from there. In this day and age you really need to be able to give them something that set you apart from the rest of the pack!

I cannot tell you how I detest interviews. I have been pretty fortunate for the past 17 years prior to 2015, where I generally go to an interview only when am very certain of the job - and only a handful of rejections to remember.

Not recently. The palms have never been sweatier, that urge to grovel never stronger, that desire to end all pretenses and tell them "look, I am ready to be your bitch"... it grows with each interview that only marks the longest period of unemployment I've ever had.

Maybe I'm 37? Maybe I'm way past my sell date. Maybe I'm just no longer good enough.

Good thing I have selective amnesia.

I have hired 3 people for one of my companies and the process of how they hired people seems so old and different. I don't look so much or even at all for college or references, I have a long discussion with the individuals and put them on a training program to see if the job is for them and I always ask them is this something that you would love to do or is it just for the cash?

Hi, great post ! for a follow and up vote please reply to this message and follow and upvote my latest post @bilalabdulkhaliq Let's grow together!!! :

very cool

Congratulations @trafalgar!
Your post was mentioned in my hit parade in the following categories:

• Upvotes - Ranked 4 with 699 upvotes
• Comments - Ranked 1 with 423 comments
• Pending payout - Ranked 4 with $ 1620,89

I regularly interview new hires. I specifically tell them NOT to dress up and I meet them over lunch, which I pay for. I even ask them to grab a beer or wine if the prefer.

Overall, my goal is to find someone competent, who can fit in at our very relaxed environment, and is skilled for the position.

I always catch the idiots in their most comfortable state.

I, myself have have been in interviews where 3 executives grill me over a hot lamp. It did nothing but put me off my game. Mind you, I got the job. I left after 6 months because the environment wasn't right for me. Because of my experiences, I now make sure I respect and put people in a comfortable state where they would see me as their equal.

It has worked so far. We probably have the best staff in the city.

As a journalist, I like the job interview. This is an opportunity to show our quality whether it matches the job offered or not. Is not it?

Thanks for the laugh! I once had a job interview where I beat my future boss at wrestling. At my current workplace, if I want to pick up another shift I have to go in for another interview.. which is always awkward. I'm there wondering why they're wasting both their time and mine. I basically have to reaffirm my worthiness to someone I have absolutely no respect for and would dominate if not for the power imbalance between us.

As a three time corporate layoff stooge, this cracked me up. Your finishing move, arm pit farts. Fatality! Nice one.

Interesting read, agreed with it, to me a job interview feels like prostitution. selling my time and energy for $$$ to the lowest bidder. :(

your right about this its because of the high expactation its going the wrong way with jobinterviews.
But dont give up you can do it

I remember one time I interviewed at a pizza chain. They literally gave us a group interview (red flag#1), and asked us "What is your favorite cartoon character?" (red flag#2)

So I answered Bugs Bunny, because I always liked his smart ass, funny, sense of humor. Well...I didn't end up getting that job. I think I almost said Woody Woodpecker too...he's a known troublemaker...so I bit my tongue on that one.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LdoJel3gkoo/USaSfL59-fI/AAAAAAAAT_k/EN0889uraHk/s400/1339684632760-bugs_bunny_dancing_ii.gif

I love your humor. It was a very well written rant, and it is nice to see a smattering of foul language in such a professional topic

https://media.giphy.com/media/xzPrNiaPZU5A4/giphy.gif

I havnt had a job in 20 years so IDK what they do these days 😂😂😂

Every interview I've had I always left feeling defeated. They ask these irrelevant questions that you have to make up an answer for like " So why do you want o work here?" Like what do you mean I need a job!! lol Thats why I rather chase my own dreams and be happy with my life and get paid less rather than having to work for someone else and be miserable.

I think the same thing about job interviews.

wow

i hate to because they have many stupid ask,i never want job interviews

yes but unfortunately it's necessary to get a job

I've never been in a job interview before and I find the prospect of ever being in one anxious and depressing from your post. The fact the silky questions are always asked seem so frustrating. I hope that I don't freak out qhen the time comes. And I admire yoir frankness.

Working with a Temp agency is a good way to overcome these barriers. The hoops you have to jump through, aren't nearly as difficult. The expectations are lower, and the consequences of screwing up aren't nearly as great. Some assignments are temp-to-hire, so you can prove yourself on the job over a longer period of time, rather than trying to prove your worth in 20 minutes of interview.

Good post I hate job interviews too.. They feel very akward.

It's not what you do, it's how you phrase it.

"I just go on the internet." - I participate in media outlets that allow me to increase my social life
"I play video games." - I enjoy electronic arts that stimulate the primal human emotions of survival.
"I watch other idiots play video games." - I study others like myself on similar online outlets as both enjoyment and hopes of furthering my own skills.

I'm stuck on the crotchless wedding dress...and picturing wedding dresses that have underwear sewn into them, from granny panties to crotchless, not sure which of that is funnier...oh bloomers! Bloomers sewn in, crotchless bloomers!! lol!

i dont think a job interview on it self is bad

the people who are asking the questions could be bad

That's right, life is easy, it's the people that are difficult.

Well i presume majority do not like to WORK even. The only reason is that instead of going for our LIKINGS we go for MORE EARNINGS and instead most of us lose onto the race of the MAINSTREAM jobs. Lucky are those who enjoy every bit of what they do because WE HAVE ONE LIFE. LETS MAKE IT VALUABLE because WE WON'T LIVE AGAIN 🙂

hilarious :) ...but also a truthful account of what is happening in regular society today.

So glad to go for "pension" but I actually never ever had a job interview in my entire life. Somehow I managed to be my own boss and this didn't always go that well ...hehehe
I would have failed badly at any job interview.

Stale language,The right word for job interview
They regard us as primitive
:)

Who else is trying to give a cool comment in way to take some upvotes :D ?

Nah i comment to stay poor.

Looking for a job feels like going around begging people. I have been on a lot of interviews. I always answered the weakness question the same. I'd say my family. I never let them bait me into saying anything negative about myself. I had one hiring manager ask me "what do you mean your family?". I actually had to sit there and explain to him that this job will become secondary if anything were to happen to someone in my family. I got the job

So true. Preach

Job Interviews can be both a good thing and a bad thing depending on how you look at it. For me I like them because they allow a person to show off their skills, and lets face it not everyone is as good at a certain task for example building computers, or fixing engines or whatever. As much as I would like people to be equal in job interviews they are not.

But your post was very valuable and did change my opinion on a couple things.

Thanks for sharing

Job interviews are the worst!! Hate them so much I work from my computer exclusively now so I do not have to have a traditional interview ever again hopefully.

The SATORI upon reading your words! Thank you.

nice post brother. i think many people here think the same about an interview. Upvoted and followed dude. give me one minute of your life and do follow me and upvote my blog. your one upvote is very worthy for me.

Agreed, it's just a test of how well you can pretend to be the ideal candidate to succeed and get the job. Upvoted

I dislike job interviews because they lead to jobs...and I was not made for those things.

Great writing! Hysterical. I'm still laughing. Ah...what a great way to end the night. (wait, I'm going to read this to my husband before bed - oh...too funny.)

I really enjoyed reading your piece of writing. The way you write is not boring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I 100% agree with you. I also hate job interviews due to the stress and humiliation they bring. But ususally I tend to think that it's inevitable
and everyone has to go through this. That thought calms me down.
Great article, I can see a lot of work you put into into, thank you! <3

haha nice post..
steemit members follow nd upvote plzz

Ha ha ha ha brilliant !!!!!

I always hate how they always ask you "what is one of your biggest weaknesses" ...well I like to eat a lot of chocolate...

hahaha
as you shove a whole kit kat bar into your mouth :)

It would probably work in my favour . I usually say the dumbest things in interviews . Im better off having my mouth full of something other than my foot.

Surprised very interesting and instructive your post

Hey, I looked at your blog and they seem so interesting :) I followed you, please return the favour :) WE NEED TO BE FRIENDS!!

Hilarious fucking post. Apologies for swearing but you think like I think, and I mainly post on here after at least a drink or two (see: my last really drunk post.)

Thanks for the post and the laughs!

nice!

Nice read! :)

haha love this! :'D

made my day!

had one interview, lady asked me to tell something about myself and it left me spechless... i expected something about my qulifications

nice , like it !

The question "What are your weaknesses?" Has to be the worst interview question. I imagine by now HR knows that everyone has canned answers for all the generic questions!

Very close to reality... more than a million people think the same thing...

All the fears disappear after working for one month.

very good mate well done

I see myself in your opinion as well in this topic!
resteem+follow+upvoted! 💪

thanks a lot :)

I do hate job interviews and I really found ur post useful please vote me up if you can and thanks in advance .

we have to face it, but how can our mindsite will expand without this process?

Agreed! I think there's a lot of false information and "tips" out there about how to go about a job interview, and a lot of the time the people doing the interview don't even know very much about how to select a future employee, or they have some very weird ideas about it. I think this makes the whole activity pretty ridiculous. Great post!

My first interview was sooooooo awkward, I had to produce a song about a house I wanted to sell to the customer and sing it to to room :(( SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE ME FORGET!!!

You've earner yourself a follower my friend! Love your wit and sarcastic deconstruction of one of life's great shit-eating experiences most of us endure with a smile and handshake!

I can see why you're so successful on this platform!

thanks a lot :) glad you enjoyed it

Hi
this will take you on a beautiful journey, Must see
https://steemit.com/kashmir/@lakshya06/kashmir-a-paradise-on-earth

Great post! I've always hated them myself and have been passed over for promotions and other positions because of the pointless standard questions they ask EVERYONE as part of a script. The majority of the time they have nothing to do with the job, or take into account your performance or ability to succeed.

Spot on! My first job ever was in HR. I quit within 6 months and never ventured into it again. Jobs advertisements were usually glamorized and offered salary gets slashed. place I worked at didn't give two flying ****s about your CV really. Mostly they hired on who knew so-and-so and not to be racist, skin colour. Some male managers shortlisted candidates based on their face value, cleavage and skirt length. As an interviewee I still complied with all the standard textbooks interview Q&A model answers and dressed "appropriately". I'm not working for anyone anymore and am eternally grateful to be rid of interviews!

I've 58. I was a temp worker for 20 years. I've had a ton of job interviews.

Job interviewers favor younger people. It definitely helps to be good looking and charming. The kinds of people who were popular in high school are the kinds of people who get good jobs and get promoted.

Speaking of promotion, you seldom see a short woman in a supervisory role. I've been amazed at the number of athletic guys 6'4" or taller with thick hair who are in supervisory roles.

I remember one interview when I could tell that I wasn't getting the job because I didn't have the experience they were looking for.

So when they asked me what my biggest fault was I said, "Lying in job interviews!" No, I didn't get the job.

My biggest complaint is when I got to the interview and the person didn't bother going through the resumes beforehand. So I'd quickly find out that I was being interviewed for a job that I wasn't qualified for.

Humourous article, I am quite the smartass myself and you're correct that it is hard to resist calling out the job interview dynamics and the questions how they are with a carefully articulated answer to those pesky questions! I mainly do not like interviews because I am a rather humble person and am not good at "selling myself" and I hate the expectation that I do so in that kind of setting. I'll prove myself no problem and will work my ass off to succeed and help the company succeed but getting through an interview where first impressions will make or break whether I get to pay my bills? Yikes! Also, I am the kind of person where I am nice to and can get along with everyone but I'm not outgoing at first and need to get to know people a bit before I talk much. But /of course/ you can't actually be real in a job interview and tell them actual weaknesses! You have to BS the crap out of it! lol. And the crazy thing this that the interviewer knows this too! Like, why is this even a thing? :P. One good answer for the "What is your weakness?" question that I plan to use is that my weakness is that I have not been given the opportunity to manage people and that is something that I know I would be good at because of x, and y reasons and z experience/anecdote. I read that proposed answer in someone's blog awhile back and it sounds like an awesome answer to me (at least better than what I've tried BS'ing in the past haha)!

[IMAGE: https://steemitimages.com/DQmSgKfQ627SgNCqZP9oAXpMdiAqSx3Gk8BP7eUgm3qSy9J/image.png]

i hate interviews tooo

if you were asked to tell a joke at a job interview, what would you say?

nice. thumbs up

Yo! @trafalgar! Why is your writing so good? So jealous (inspired & appreciative) right now...

I've decided never to go to a job interview ever again. I just cant handle the whole thing. I've figured out how to make my living off of the internet..

Nice post. kindly check out my post
https://steemit.com/money/@muhammadhassan/never-depend-on-a-single-income-invest-wisely-live-well
THanks

>>>Whoever came up with the saying there's no such thing as a stupid question has obviously never had a job interview or looked in the Steemit help channel before.

Hilarious, while I was hoping you haven't actually been there and asked some of these questions part of me knows your not lying. Good luck out there!! Thanks for the good laugh!

I always love the question that typically follows "what are your greatest strengths" . "What are you biggest weaknesses?" It's like you want me to list reasons why you shouldn't hire me? At least I've always tried to spin it into something positive. I'd be like "My biggest weakness making sure everyone else is doing their job" or something.

Read my last blog post! It applies to this very well and the tricks are extremely effective.

Weirdest job interview I ever had was years ago for an internship with the Army Corps of Engineers. 250 of us had applied, 70 got through an initial screening process, one of them being me even though I'd never taken an engineering class. First off, they interviewed two of us the same time, for the one position. And the interview was done by four men with crew cuts and white shirts. And I was at the time a faux hippy dude with hair down to the middle of my back. Immediately knew that the interview was a waste of time. Which releived all stress and put me entirely at ease. The other guy really, really wanted the job and could hardly stop talking. I couldn't care less so gave calm and cogent responses, just killing time.

And of course they hired me.

You get the weird questions even when applying for simpliest jobs. Like I wanted job in the warehouse and guy asks me all those fancy questions like where I see myself in 5 years and whatever. You can clearly see he read some popular online HR tutorials and tries to be smart. Dude, Im here to carry boxes for money. Where I see myself in 5 years? Hopefully not still carrying boxes... XD

Great work

( My brother please vote on my page for your vote great honor )

Hey @trafalgar, this post came up in the Top 50 Posts from last week, if you want to see the full list, click here

Hey @trafalgar

I really apprecieate the effort your doing on steemit . Your producing a valuable content for the people of steemit . I am very much thankful to you ..

It is really good to see you and your posts always produce awesome content ..

A Big Thanks To You

Nice article !

I understand your frustration, there is a lot of bullsh*t in the interview process.
I hate all those stupid questions which are just there to make happy the interviewer and do not bring anything on what really matters. Typically: are you loyal ? What can you answer to this... and why this person asks this kind of thing...

A lot of people in front of you have no clue on how to really conduct an interview, and they just do the same "thing" (to be polite) over and over, with all those useless questions.
Also, some of them are having an opportunity to have some little power over someone without any backfire and they are happy to do so, with the "not so stupid questions" asking something super specific while the true job is far far away from that.

The only question for the interview is "are you able to perform the work we want you to do" and there are
a few people able to really do it effectively.

You need to be able to ask the questions that matter to you :
- Any question that you have on the job position.
- Who is going to train you ? How ?
- How people are evaluated, on what basis ? how and when ?
- What are the difficulties/challenges they are facing ?
- You can ask the bullsh*t questions also to them ;)

On the other hand, there are some "too good to be true" candidates at the interview that just show their real face after a few weeks, and they can be a source of many problems.

Only people performing the "real" job are able to take with the needed pinch of salt the whole interview and try to push and understand what you know, what you can bring, what you will have to learn and decide to give you a try

I don't believe in job interviews.
The last time when I had one, they asked me a question what include insects. :D
"Like, if you crushed on the lonely island, how do you measured insects temperature?"

@trafalgar the word interview is not an easy task. Just recently I went for an interview. I was a bit nervous. I entered the interview room and met 12 person. The first woman I saw smile at me but because I was tensed I couldn't even smile back at her. I was first asked to tell them about my educational background. After they started asking a lot of questions which i was able answered a few. I did my best though. I'm hoping u will bring out some procedures that will go through before going for an interview to prevent nervousness and tension.

Interviews are horrible but hopefully you don't need to have many in your life. Thanks for the post it was interesting, I can empathize.

@trafalgar nice post upvoted please look at mine too

https://steemit.com/story/@diverse-thinker/100-words-1-story-dilemma-of-leadership-today

Great post! Keep it up :)
By the way, I'm following you now
Cheers

https://steemit.com/philosophy/@llange/is-the-dollar-vigilante-wrong-about-the-etymology-of-the-word-government

OMG! Who even wants to have a job? It would have to be some amazing job for me to even consider the possibility. Creating one's own job would eradicate the entire process of interviews, and you'll never have to answer any stupid fucking questions if you don't want to!! Great post....again @trafalgar. Thanks for the laughs.

"The freedom to call the President's mother a whore to his face is very much the gold standard for an egalitarian civilization." @trafalgar this is pure genius! I think you should seek a job at Human Rights Watch or similar, in the Key Performance Indicators Department, and propose the First Mother Whore Test to be included in their KPI/best practices handbook :-)

P.S. I adhere to your religion, stipulating that self-votes are fine :-)

I think the most important question that should ask yourself before job interview - I want to give the company and what I want to receive in return.

I unfortunately don't know how it happens in USA but in my country people often do not understand - what you need to do what you love and then the work will not be a burden, and in pleasure and with interest.

But in General for interviews, I fully agree with your point of view - most of them degrading.

Working Online and finally understanding that there is a real such thing as entrepreneur. . .Super Saved me from 15 interviews per year syndrome_^

My advice would be to starting Googling the 50 most commonly asked questions in interviews, and preparing the answers to those. Also try to sell yourself, think of things you are good at and which can be valuable to the company. For weaknesses Google will tell you to say something like "I'm a perfectionist", since it's not really a weakness in most cases, but everybody already uses that one.

If you turn the tables, and you have a company and are interviewing candidates, would you hire the person that has good answers to all of your questions, or the person that doesn't really have any good answers? Everybody knows a bit of it is theater, but unless you have a better suggestion on how to assess in one hour which person a company should hire out of 100 candidates, I guess this still works best. It's like democracy, it's not perfect but much better than the alternatives :D

I most likely will blow it on a job interview. I have no experience and may say the wrong thing and screw my chance.

Well you sure could get a writing or editing position in a satirical department..just dump your track record of posts on the table and smile your way to being hired in silence except for their chuckles as they read through your stuff..

Not that you would need a job though..

JOB stands for Just Over Broke btw. Most work their asses off and pay the bills and splurge the last bits over 'rewarding myself' that I simply deserve.

what a great words that give me confidence for my upcoming interview .....thanks a lot.

Hey @trafalgar great post. I have just one objection. " In a society where it's important to at least pretend everyone is equal, job interviews are a stark and constant reminder that we're not." It is another thing being suitable for the job and other thing being equal. I don't believe there is equality in society either but I think that argument was misplaced there

Congratulations @trafalgar
You took 3 place in my Top 100 of posts

In programming is totally different. They are desperate for people ! At least in my country !

But interviews still sucks, because you cannot prove to someone how well you can work, just by answering to some questions.

I love your post... I laughed so hard at some points, even though I was in the office surrounded by all my colleagues :D However, I can understand your point... I am HR Intern and I am at that moment when I have to do interviews and ask the applicant some stupid questions and have to try to pretend that this small talk is actually pleasant as it isn't for both of us... I don't understand how people work that their whole lives, but I will definitely change the direction!

Again thanks for sharing! Really enjoyed the article!

Yes, I have been in some interviews that were almost insulting. Since it is supposedly illegal to ask a persona their age, it is mandatory to show your drivers's license. And if you don't have a license and a dependable form of transportation, then more than likely you will not get the job anyway. And I am always intrigued with the question, How much money to you expect to make? The higher amount is supposed to reflect that you are an ambitious person. Even though you may request a certain amount, you usually don't get it working for other people. Yes, job interviews suck. I prefer the online application process much better.
!

Interviews are sooo nerve racking , just gotta be yourself.

Snap the stick along the grain, 100% chance of an equilateral triangle, you'll probably get the job for thinking out side the box and the boss will be so impressed he'll let you bang his wife in hopes you impregnate her so he can claim your seed as his own. Wait, am I late?

"Now, the smartasses among us are caught in a dilemma"
Now I know why I didn't get those jobs, they must have seen straight thru me or maybe it was the smirk on my face that gave it away, lol.
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Nice post, glad to know there are more people out there like me.

why I hate interview because I​ don't​ like it at all

Why I Hate Job Interviews

Good idea, but I think I will make it even shorter:

"Why I Hate Jobs!" :-)

Hahaha, very funny. You have good experience of interviews i think.

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